Ignoring DMs? Sometimes it’s not OK
When modern friendship becomes too disposable
My work diary was crammed full of one-on-one appointments today.
We only ever show a version of ourselves in situations like this: a kind of “A-game” persona that gets the job done, and seals the deal. The mask I wear resembles me, but it isn’t me.
By anyone’s definition, I did everything I was meant to in those meetings, and my boss was pleased. Why then did I catch myself crying during my long drive home? Tears welled up and sprang at me like a guerilla. Part of it was exhaustion, sure, and I was definitely “hangry,” but I think a lot of it was the fact that despite speaking to human beings all day, I felt starved of true connection.
Like everyone writing here, I thrive on communication. I often have close to a hundred notifications on WhatsApp, Messenger, and email. Group threads escalate so quickly that it’s tough to respond to all of them. Once I prioritize work messages, I can’t always get to everything else.
Nevertheless, I often DM my friends.
I’ll frequently send little messages to ask “Hey, how are you?” or to invite people somewhere. It’s not remotely problematic if they say no, either.
