Mar 10, 2020
I’m Human And I Make Mistakes
A few weeks ago, I wrote that I had just started to learn how to do Yoga. However, hardly a month into my practice, I have stopped. The pain in my neck, knees, and right foot have become unbearable.
Though Yoga strengthened my meditation practice and my spiritual connection, I can’t but feel that I’ve failed. There I was starting something new, getting all excited, and telling the whole world about it. Then just as quickly, I stopped what I had just proclaimed to be my next ‘new’ thing.
I felt like a loser. I was afraid to admit to myself and the world that I’ve stopped Yoga. My ego was telling me that I couldn’t do so as that would mean admitting defeat. Yet, my true self wanted to be honest and explain why I had decided to stop my Yogic path.
I am someone who keeps trying new things. Sometimes they work and sometimes they do not. I am also human and one who errs regularly. And after much reflection, I got to the crux of my mental conflict. In that, it’s okay to fail. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s okay when things don’t work out.
Today, we live in an age where the “American Dream” mentality pushes us to succeed at all costs. We have all grown up on a diet of winning, pushing harder, and not accepting when we fail.
This mentality comes at a price. We are always anxious and full of expectations. Everyone is under so much pressure to achieve, win, and become successful.
The worst part is that success is often not defined by our own reasoning. Instead, according to what our upbringing, society, and the media have informed us. How many people have reached the top of ladders that were leaning on the wrong walls?
Silicon Valley is leading the way to make us perfect and immortal. So much money is being spent in biotechnology to make us live longer with less pain. That notwithstanding, I feel they are missing the point. I don’t want to live longer as a lifeless robot.
Social media bombards us daily with perfection. We only see 6-packed bodies, shining red Ferraris, Villas overlooking oceans, and far-away destination packaged in 7-star hotels.
This idea of perfection is a myth, and the simple truth is that we are meant to be whole and not perfect. This includes both the joy of successes and the pain of failures. And the only way we learn and grow is through both differing experiences.
Buddha’s first noble truth states unequivocally that life contains inevitable, unavoidable suffering. It’s okay to have flaws and go through pain. Only when we accept this truth about us would our suffering become more bearable.
In Abrahamic religions, God commands mankind not to eat the forbidden fruit from the Garden of Eden. Nevertheless, Adam and Eve went on to eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge. Mankind is exiled. Thus we became human with an imperfect nature.
Life is imperfect. When we fail and suffer, it only means it’s human to feel so. We shouldn’t get embarrassed or feel humiliated. We need to accept that we are flawed. As such we lower our expectations and recognize that we all make mistakes.
Life becomes easier. We become more content with life. Rather than flip when the train is late, we accept that sometimes trains will be delayed. When our colleagues mess up, we understand instead of criticizing them.
Why is it that when we meet someone new, we are always trying to impress through our status, power, and flawlessness. Contrary to this, what gains us friendships, breaks boundaries and wins us enduring loyalty and safety is when we reveal our vulnerability.
No one wants to hear how great your life. Instead, a connection is made when there is an acknowledgment of pain. When we share something, we are ashamed of, regret, and fear, only then do we connect.
Vulnerability is not a weakness. Rather, it is a path to opening our hearts. When we start to trust our hearts, all fears dissipate, and we start accepting that we are imperfect beings living in a not so perfect world.
To live with our hearts open, carrying our wounds and scars with us is very scary, but the alternative of not doing so is much more terrifying.
Vulnerability is the only way to live a full, courageous, and authentic life. This is what being human is all about.
Yes, I have stopped my Yoga practice only a month after starting. Perhaps I gave up too quickly, or I wasn’t ready yet as I’m enjoying other activities like pilates, running, and strength training. Or maybe I just rode the bandwagon of Yoga’s popularity.
Why I stopped is not as crucial as admitting that I stopped and that it was okay to do so.
