I’m Practicing My Smile — And You Might Want To, Too
In isolation, I’m not smiling. And it’s not helping.
During my at-home workout a couple of days ago, the celebrity instructor “Shaun T” crouched behind a gleaming girl going full-blast and bearing an unnaturally-placed beauty queen smile.
Leaning over her shoulder, he looked into the camera and sang out, encouraging his invisible at-home trainees: “Smile through the hard parts!”
Sweating and huffing and flailing ungracefully, I managed a grin.
I took a deep breath as my cheeks formed their round apples and my lips parted to display my teeth. I felt an unexpected shift. My heart was lighter, my chest more open.
And I thought, Wow. How long has it been since I’ve smiled?
Smiling in isolation
I’ve been in isolation since March 10th (I think?).
For the first few weeks, I interacted with my roommate a couple of times a day. We went on a walk together every afternoon, we sat side-by-side and worked puzzles, and we spent our evenings digitally “hanging out” with mutual friends. I didn’t realize it, but we didn’t look at each other much.
We probably should have made time for some eye contact.
Since April 3rd, I’ve been isolating alone. My roommate decided to shelter with her family across the state border, so now it’s just me. (Well . . . me and our other roommate’s cat. That roommate left in March to shelter with her boyfriend, but she left her cat here with me.)
I’ve realized that not only have I been feeling lonely, uncertain, and less inclined toward smiling, I’ve had no one to smile at.
With so little opportunity to look a person in the eyes during isolation, I wasn’t instinctively smiling much at all.
I figure that’s gotta change.
Authenticity
I’ve never enjoyed a “fake-it-til-you-make-it” approach. I don’t do well with role-playing scenarios, or saying affirmations into a mirror, or any other “outside-in” approach to life. I feel fake, dishonest, unnatural, and even deceitful.
I don’t like pretending.
So while I’ve heard that forcing laughter or a smile can make a person feel better (an idea that’s been a point of contention between psychologists over the last century), it’s always felt fake and forced and altogether unhelpful — sometimes even having the opposite of the intended effect.
I was surprised, then, to feel a welcomed lightness in my chest when I followed Shaun T’s instruction to “smile through the hard parts.”
Smiling as stress relief
According to some studies, the “feel-good transmitters” serotonin and dopamine are released when we smile. As a result, our heart rate lowers, our blood pressure decreases, and we become more relaxed.
As we’re all sheltering in place (some in mostly-happy homes, some in less ideal circumstances), we’re likely all feeling a grab-bag of emotions: concern, fear, loneliness, anxiety, confusion, frustration.
It’s important that we monitor our emotional health, and that we take whatever actions we can to reduce negative vibes and lift up any positive ones we can muster!
My prescription
Many antidepressant medications help to boost serotonin levels, and while forcing a smile now and then is no substitute for prescribed medication, the exercise operates under the same umbrella: increasing those “feel good transmitters” to help balance our brain chemistry.
So I’m giving myself a prescription:
I’m adding smiling to my daily routine. If I can muster it, even a laugh.
When I have moments of internal optimism throughout the day (a delicious meal, a good workout, the sun breaking through the clouds), I’m going to try to remember to express it physically, through a smile, outstretched arms, or laughter, instead of keeping small joys tucked away in my head.
Jamie Pfeffer, a meditation coach, says that she and her husband smile for 60 seconds each morning. That sounds like a painfully, awkwardly long time to me, but what better time to try something awkward than when you’re unexpectedly living alone with someone else’s cat for the foreseeable future?
This is the time for experimentation, surely.
Like Shaun T says — smile through the hard stuff.
We’re in the hard stuff now. So I’m going to smile.
