“I’m Trying to Be Positive, But Everything Is Negative”
Contrast and Negativity
You know you’re supposed to think positive. You’re trying so hard to believe so you can receive, but things just aren’t working out. Instead of attracting more love and light into your life, your life feels like a total disaster right now.
Why?
When you have a negative experience, when something shows up in your life that you don’t like, you’re experiencing Contrast. Why is it called Contrast? Because it contrasts with the experience you desire to have.
Instead of getting angry at the negative experience, try flipping the script and see Contrast as a tool to help you become a better manifester. How is Contrast a tool? Because it helps you figure out what it is you really want.
Whenever your reaction to something is so clearly “Not that!” your next move is to take a step back and ask yourself, “What do I want to experience instead?”
Before you might have said you wanted something vague and lofty like “Happiness” or “Love” or “Abundance”. But now you have this very specific Contrast experience to draw on. Now you can refine your desire down to something more concrete like “I want to pay off all my debt within the next 10 months so I never have this threat of collections hanging over my head again.”
Or maybe “I to meet someone who loves and respects me just as I am without wanting to change me to fit their model of the perfect woman.” Or perhaps, “I want to increase my income enough to be able to set aside $400 per month toward my daughter’s college fund so she can go to college without getting saddled with all that debt.” These are much more measurable and achievable goals than Happiness, Love, or Abundance.
It takes a high level of self-awareness to be able to step back from the immediate emotional reaction that negative experiences inspire and respond with curiosity instead of judgment. But if you want to learn how to manifest the life of your dreams, you need to cultivate this kind of self-awareness.
Here is my 5-Step Process for using Contrast to Attract What You Want
Step 1: Recognize the Contrast.
First, notice that you’re experiencing Contrast. Clearly identify what it is about the current situation that you DON’T want in your life. Now ask yourself what it is that this experience is in contrast to. Exactly what do you want to experience instead? Write it down with as much detail as you can.
Step 2: Ask the Universe to deliver.
Ask several times a day. Keep a Post It notes where you can see it or type it into the lock screen on your phone so you can keep your attention on the positive experience that you want to call into your life. Imagine yourself already in that situation. Let your mind and body feel the emotions you will feel when you get exactly what you want. You don’t have to wait to feel it, you can start feeling it right now.
Step 3: Gratitude.
Get grateful. However bad the Contrast is in your life right now, there are still things you can and should be grateful for. If you find it hard to think of anything at all, go back to the basics. Did you wake up this morning, alive and breathing? Feel grateful for one more day of life on this beautiful planet. Did you turn a faucet and clean water flowed out?
Not everyone in the world has access to that one very simple and fundamental thing. Feel grateful for it. Do you have one person in your life who you can talk to today? Do you have food to eat? Clothes to wear? A roof over your head? A pet? A friend? A family member?
If you are reading this article you must have access to some kind of technology. Feel grateful for it. Feelings of gratitude help align you with the positive flow of the universe and when you are in alignment, you are ready to receive.
Step 4: Suspend Judgment.
Be unconditional and suspend judgment, allowing the solution to unfold in the way it needs to, even if it looks different than you expected it to. This isn’t easy and may require practice, but when you are able to do it, things will start to work out in a beautiful way.
Step 5: Additional Contrast.
This is a hard one, but try to welcome any additional contrast that you may experience. Remember that negative experiences are part of being human, but if you can create a negative experience, you can also create a positive experience that it is pointing you toward.
Sounds easy, right? It is and it isn’t.
Once you gain the self-awareness to be able to go through this process at all, following the first couple of steps is easy enough. But suspending judgment and being unconditional takes practice. Be patient with yourself as you work through this and remember to practice plenty of self-love. Beating yourself up for making mistakes or getting yourself into a situation you now want out of doesn’t help in the long run.
Gently guide yourself through these steps and back onto the path each time you stray, the way you would guide a favorite child through learning to ride a bike. You don’t yell and swear at the child when they fall down. You help them up, dust them off, and encourage them to climb right back on and try again. They will get it eventually, with practice, and so will you.
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