Its Your Mind, ‘They’ Don’t Matter
Why do we care about what ‘they’ think?
I was an overweight adolescent, and of course, was bullied relentlessly. Anyone who was even slightly different, who didn’t fit the mold, was tormented. I was no exception. I always felt left out. Although I had supportive and genuine friends, amongst the masses, I felt like I was never good enough, as an outsider. Most of my teenage years were not fun.
I obsessed with others’ perceptions, particularly of my appearance, and how all of my actions were judged. Living in a small place was like being under a microscope, and I desperately wanted to escape. As I grew older and wiser, I developed a thick skin. My confidence soared after an epiphany.
When I thought about it, and really drilled down to my core, the only people’s opinions that mattered, were those of my best friends and immediate family.
Who Actually Cares?
Why did I care so much about the opinions of others I didn’t know? When I asked myself the question, I thought about it carefully. I was never going to see these people again, so why would it matter if I looked fat in my jeans. After a few moments, I would be forgotten. It took me a while to get my head around this, but it was true.
If I wanted people not to judge me, then I would have to return the favor.
I stopped internally, commenting on other people. Their choice of clothes or body shape was none of my business; I didn’t feel any better about myself for tearing someone else down. I finally started to feel freer. If I felt confident in myself, nothing else mattered.
Your Opinion Is The Most Important
Basing our self-esteem on the opinions of others will lead to a very miserable life. We can’t wait for someone to grace us with their acceptance so we can validate our existence because it might never come.
Not everyone will like you — fact. And you can’t let others’ opinions dictate how you see yourself. You need to be comfortable with who you are; accept the good, the bad, and the ugly.
We are not perfect and never will be, perfect does not exist.
If you are influenced by the opinions of others, you will have no desire of your own.
Napoleon Hill
Choose
Life is challenging. There are many pitfalls and decisions to navigate along the way. If we always doubt ourselves, the choices we make will not lead us to our full potential, because we feel unworthy of it.
We are also unable to think clearly and process information effectively, which means that when we do encounter problems, we are incapable of solving them rationally.
What Now?
When we feel confident within, it radiates, and we draw positive people and experiences towards us.
Don’t get me wrong; the opinions of others are valuable in the right context. Constructive feedback is essential to take on board to grow and develop as a person. Without failure and learning from it, it’s not possible to be successful. If someone can help you by advising you on how to improve or move forward, then their words are significant.
Self Worth
The clue is in the title. Self-worth starts with you!
