Make Time In Your Schedule For Love
Literally, open up space in your calendar.
You’re busy. I know. How do I know you’re busy? Because we’re all busy these days, aren’t we? Not enough hours in the day, not enough days in the week, not enough months in the year… for what?
To get ahead? To make money? To prepare for the future? Perhaps a future filled with love and happiness and abundance and ease. A future where you fall in love and everything falls into place. But in the meantime, it’s nose to the grindstone, no time for messing around. No time for stopping to smell the roses. No time to even stop and look around.
So while you may be looking for the kind of loving, long-lasting, soulmate relationships you’ve always dreamed of, if it showed up on your doorstep today, would you even have time to enjoy it? Just as decluttering your physical space to make room in your home can help welcome love into your life, so making room in your schedule can too.
If you feel like you never have enough time in your life, it’s probably a good time to take a time inventory. In Laura Vanderkam’s excellent book 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think she has some excellent in-depth methods for keeping time logs and tracking your time to see exactly how you spend it and how you can make changes to more intentionally use your time.
She also makes some very interesting discoveries about the things most people over and under-report versus what the real time-use studies’ data shows.
However, for our purpose today, let’s just use your memory to guesstimate how many hours per week you spend on the following time-sucks:
- Obligations you’ve accepted out of politeness, but don’t really want
- Time-wasting distractions (aka “vegging out”)
- Scrolling, reading, and being judgmental of what people you’ve never met post on social media
- Comparing your real life to other people’s airbrushed Instagrammed lives
- Binge-watching shows everyone says you should watch
You can probably come up with a couple more categories of time-clutter that are particular to you. Go ahead and add anything you can think of to your list. Anything unproductive that you do than look up and realize hours have gone by without anything positive or productive coming out of that time. How much time does it all add up to per week? How much would you miss it if you cut out any, most, or even all of it out?
Now let’s think about another category of time. How much time do you spend each week on practicing self-love by taking good care of yourself? How much of your schedule is dedicated to downtime, me time, time for pleasure, and spiritual growth? Time for reading and thinking. Time for daydreaming and letting your imagination run wild?
If that makes you roll your eyes and think “you don’t understand, my life is crazy-busy. I don’t have time for any that!” let me remind you that time scarcity is a choice, a mindset choice, just like every other kind of scarcity mindset.
Everyone from the college kid making your coffee at the coffee shop to Bill Gates gets the same 24 hours every day and we all make choices about how to use it. You get to choose whether or not you pick up your cell phone. Whether or not to put it on silent to complete important tasks that require focus or maybe to pay attention to the person in front of you.
You get to choose whether or not to respond to every notification ping on your phone or to turn all of those notifications off. You get to choose whether to turn the TV on, or go for a walk, or call someone important to you. Sure, we all have things in life that we feel like we have to do, but in between all of those big, important things, hours, days, and years slip through the cracks, dedicated to unfulfilling time-clutter that most people never track.
If your calendar is crammed with unexciting obligations or if you’re spending a lot of your time distracting yourself from your life, how are you going to squeeze in time for your soulmate when they show up? They might already be in front of you, just waiting for you to make time for them.
Learning to say no to time-wasters and social events that you’d rather not attend is crucial for finding and keeping the soulmate relationship you’ve been craving. A good place to start is to make time to treat yourself the way you want your soulmate to treat you.
So go ahead, block out some time in that busy schedule for you, for self-love, and maybe you can start to fill it with the love you want with another too.
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