Manipulator vs Negotiator: Littlefinger and Tyrion Lannister
In business, we often need to find someone who is good at talking to people. People who are good at that are sometimes experts in persuading people and may influence others to do their deeds.
However, we don’t know if they are actually on our side or not. It’s because they are good at speaking that we can sometimes be manipulated and fall to their traps. This is where we need to find out who is the manipulator and who is the negotiator, whom we really need.
Today, we have to build a lot of trust in every industry. Usually, this manipulator or negotiator can go on both good or bad sides, but the good sides are usually called the negotiator than a manipulator. Regardless, they both have similar abilities.
In this post, I want to discuss the difference between a manipulator and a negotiator by using Littlefinger and Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones since they are both examples on what I am about to discuss here.
But first, I am gonna need to discuss how you can spot a negotiator/manipulator first. But this one will be short because, for me, this is how I found a negotiator or a manipulator by certain traits.
Hopefully, this can help you to spot these people or if you want to be like them.
QUICK NOTE: SPOILERS AHEAD FOR THE ENTIRE GAME OF THRONES SEASONS.
First, let’s spot the manipulator/negotiator first. I will use Scar from the Lion King for an example.
They Remain Calm Most Of The Time
No matter the circumstances, manipulators/negotiators are good at keeping their emotions in check. These people are the ones who rarely flinch, even if that means their pride is kicked in the mud.
These people rarely raised their voice when someone does not agree with their cause. Rather, they will talk their way out in order to get the other think like them.
People who love control will do the opposite. For them, their strength is power, unlike negotiators/manipulators. Control people will easily outburst, and that’s when people think they should be in their good side to life the tension atmosphere.
Take Scar from the new and old Lion King. The Scar, voiced by Jeremy Irons, barely shows intimidation but deviousness.
The way he spoke was in a very calm matter and there were no outbursts, aside from when Sarabi compared him with Mufasa. Look how calm he was even when Mufasa was threatening him.
The new Lion King, on the other hand, seem to use power in his tone. This was one of the reasons why most fans are mad because the new Scar did not sound as devilish as the old ones.
There are different types of evil portrayal and I made an article about this, you can check it out here:
They are Very Very Intelligent
Though it was a big give away when Scar told Zazu that when it comes to brains, he wins on that. But the point at the beginning gave a sign on that already. If these people are good at talking but still able to remain calm, usually we see these in lawyers, then they may as well be a good negotiator/manipulator.
Look how he was able to keep his cool and able to persuade Mufasa that he is still on his side. If they know how to do this, then all you need to do is to find out if they are the manipulator or the negotiator.
In this case, Scar is a total manipulator. He managed to manipulate Simba that it was his fault that Mufasa died and gave him a solution to leave the Pride Rock forever.
But what are their differences?
Back to Littlefinger and Tyrion, they both are in a similar occupation. They both are very intelligent, they can talk their way out of things and are advisors for different houses. So how can we find their differences?
1. The Team they chose
Usually, you can see from their choice of team. If the advisor of yours is a very loyal person and true to their words, chances are, that person is not a manipulator. Why?
Manipulator
From the word itself, a manipulator is someone who wants to control people without sparking fear or motivations, etc. Unlike leaders, in a way, they can control people because they won their hearts. Leaders will find their way to see the other succeed.
Manipulators, on the other hand, do not side with anyone but themselves, this is Littefinger. In fact, throughout the entire seasons, more than one house fell because of him. He sparked the conflict within houses such as the Stark and Lannisters.
Littlefinger wants the Iron Throne and able to rule together with Sansa. But he knows he has no big armies or allies.
Therefore, he slipped his way to become ‘advisors’ of different houses such as advising Ned Stark, and ultimately lead him to his death. He did this by making him interested to go through the Baratheon’s families and uncover unsettling truth to the point that he was captured and killed for treason.
Do you see how his intelligence works?
Negotiator
From the name itself, this person will talk their way to win the heart of others. Unlike manipulators, they actually negotiate.
They would first find something that they want and say something like “I want this, you have that. You want this, and I have that. So let’s work together shall we?”
For instance, when he was captured by Catelyn Stark, who accused him of hurting her son Bran and wanted justice, and then a group of soldiers attacked them, he wanted Catelyn to untie him. But of course, Catelyn refused since she believes that he may escape. However, seeing that they were in a bad situation, he persuaded her by saying “If I am dead, what’s the point?”
Another example was when Tyrion knew that Bron loves whores. So when Tyrion proposed a trial by combat, he was able to tell him that “I have enough money to buy you many more sluts. So you help fight for me, or you won’t get them as much as you want”.
See here? There is a benefit for both sides.
2. How they treat their allies
This may be difficult to spot at first since you have to find out what they are up to first. I did not realize Littlefinger was a master manipulator until he back-stabbed Ned.
Manipulators
Manipulators are devious. They do not care of their allies unless if there are benefits for them. They will sweet-talk you first, then turn their backs on you.
Here we see Littlefinger pushing Lysa to her death. Note: THEY WERE BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE.
But because Littlefinger wanted the Iron Throne, he secretly persuaded Lysa to kill Jon Arryn, her first husband, then later they both get married. However, Littlefinger never cared for her. He used her house as a ‘refuge’ for Sansa after she escaped Kings Landing and later become a protector of House Arryn until Robin is ready to rule. These people have no problem kicking their allies if they are no more use to them.
Negotiator
A negotiator cares a lot about their allies. They would educate or scold them for their own good.
After executing Ned, it’s obvious it sparks a war between House Stark and Lannister. The Lannisters may still have the upper hand since Sansa Stark was still in their grasp. Joffrey had already abused her so that it is a ‘message’ for Robb Stark to not wage war if they want Sansa alive.
However, Tyrion came in and stopped the abuse by scolding him that Sansa is his queen so treat her well. Joffrey responded that the King does as he pleases, but Tyrion reminded him that the Mad King did as he pleases as well that lead him to his death. Joffrey here was stunned.
Ser Meryn interrupted the conversation that he should not be threatening the King, however, Tyrion deflects him by saying that he is educating his nephew, not threatening. Then he turned towards Bronn and said: “the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him.” He continued “That was a threat, see the difference?”
As we see here, he cared for both parties even if his nephew was a total jerk. He cared for Sansa and the good of his House members. Ultimately in that scene, he saved Sansa and stopped Joffrey’s nonsense on being King.
3. How they strike a deal
How manipulators and negotiators propose certain things are very different. I first spot it on how they talk to the other party.
Manipulator
“You know what I learned losing that duel? I learnt that I’ll never win. Not that way. That’s their game, their rules. I’m not going to fight them, I’m going to f*ck them. That’s what I know, that’s what I am, and only by admitting what we are can we get what we want.” — Littlefinger
From this quote itself, Littlefinger understands he has no power over other houses. Therefore, he used his intelligence as an advantage. How?
They sweet-talk, basically, he planted a seed in the other party’s mind and let it grow out of them to the point he gets what the other wants him to do.
An example was how we were able to get Ned Stark killed. He first made Ned curious about what Jon Arryn, the recently dead king, was doing that lead him to his death because he was suspicious that Jon didn’t just die. By strengthening Ned’s curiosity, Littlefinger was able to get what he wanted Ned to do and ultimately get himself in trouble.
How he does it is by saying that it won’t take a long time to investigate what Jon Arryn was up to and that he will still be available if Ned needs him.
Here we see that he planted that seed “what Jon Arryn was up to” that watered it with “it won’t take a long time”. The growth part was ultimately the decision of Ned Stark. See here? Littlefinger did not tell what others should do. This is what many manipulators do.
To get away from blame, they made the others do something that is totally their decision. Another thing to take note is that they do not care if they don’t get any advantage in the deal. Their benefits are silent, usually the downfall of the other party. A take it or leave it kind of thing, but a devious deal.
Negotiators
“Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.” — Tyrion Lannister.
Tyrion said these words when Jon Snow was, in a way brooding for who he is. Tyrion is good with people and connections. With him saying these words at season 1, Jon Snow knows that Tyrion is true to his words when he received his letter at season 7. In a way, Tyrion was like a leader.
He is a very active listener, which was why he was able to connect with Jon Snow when there was a party that he was not permitted to join because he is a bastard. After listening to their complaints, he would always ask “what do you actually want”. He keeps asking more questions to get a better judgment when he wants something. Unlike manipulators, negotiators ensure that both parties succeed.
In business, this is very useful when striking a deal with the other. It’s not so much on “why we should work together” it’s more of “why should we work with you”.
A negotiator ensures that both parties have fair trade. Although he did depreciate his pride, he twisted that with another option for a fair trade so that no one is mad for that decision.
In Conclusion
Don’t be like Littlefinger, it’s not cool to manipulate and will lead you to your own downfall eventually. Littlefinger ultimately died at season 7, whereas Tyrion is still alive. But my guess is, I am pretty sure that he will survive the Game of Thrones because in a long run, negotiators understand better on how the rule of power works and that they have a longer vision.
Take Obama, former president of US, and Jokowi, current president of Indonesia, for example. They have something in common:
- They both are good negotiators
- They were able to run as president for the second time
Because they are very good at negotiating, they were able to run as president the second time. They know how to ensure that both parties obtained their benefit when working together.
If you want to be a manipulator, you may as well be a ring leader of a cult. These people are usually cowards when the situation backfires and would leave their allies behind to save their own skins.
I hope this helps you in your life.
