NO REGRETS , NO LOOKING BACK
There comes a point in everyone’s life when they feel all hope is lost.
Everything is ruined.
That they have failed everyone and the future is looking dire.
This can happen to anyone whether you’re a high school student, a parent, the CEO of a multinational company or even a pensioner in the supposed sweet twilight years of their life.
In these last couple of years I had one of these life sucking moments.
It was the August of 2016. I had just completed a year long foundation degree in Business and Technology at a prestigious university in the north west of England.
I had worked hard and kept disciplined to keep on course to achieve a high mark for the degree. I now had the luxury to choose any course I wished to pursue in order to specialize in a subject and obtain my Bachelor’s degree.
I had promised myself when I was younger that I would work hard in school, college and university, so I could be capable enough to get to choose to work in a profession that felt more like a hobby than actual work.
“If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life”. — Marc Anthony
I am a lifelong fan of football/soccer and had always been more interested in the technical side of the game than the casual fan. For years I paid attention to different formations used by various coaches and how teams prepared for the opposition they were due to face each week.
I had completed my level one and two coaching qualifications relatively early at the tender age of eighteen, so I could maybe coach a kids team on the weekend.
However, in the August of 2016 I discovered that in the heart of Manchester City Football club at the Etihad Stadium, UCFB were opening a branch. UCFB is an institution which offers degree courses in sports and particularly football. These courses include sports journalism, sports science, media studies etc.
The one which caught my eye however, was the degree in football coaching and management. I was absolutely ecstatic at the thought of joining UCFB and gaining a degree in a football related course as the only other branch of UCFB was in London and moving down south was a farfetched dream due to the financial costs of living there.
I immediately applied for the football degree and a couple of weeks later in September I joined this football wonderland. I was envisaging myself down the line in ten years as a respected coach working myself up the leagues in English association football.
However this couldn’t be further from the truth as my stay at UCFB would only last a few mere weeks.
I was seven weeks into my first year as a student at UCFB Etihad pursuing a degree in football coaching and management. In those seven weeks I was blown away by the world class facilities we were provided to use to work, socialize and have classes in.
We had lectures in the VIP rooms at the top of the Etihad. The tutor would be giving notes on one side of the room whilst the other side of the room consisted of a glass pane showing the beautiful green pitch and a door leading to the most sought after and most expensive seats normally reserved for the very wealthy.
The café was the most sophisticated café in the world as we were encouraged to have breakfast and lunch in a luxurious bar full of the most expensive of furniture.
I felt like I was in football heaven because on top of the aforementioned luxuries we were also blessed with a famous football personality coming in as a guest tutor on a bi-weekly basis.
I felt like a very lucky twenty year old.
Then all the color from life went and everything turned grey.
Ironically, the moment which ended my football coaching dreams didn't take place in the very physical practical sessions we used to do a few times a week at uni, but it actually happened during a weekend in mid October in what normally was a friendly football game I had with my friends on a weekly basis. It was innocent.
I was chasing the ball and so was this other very athletic guy. I was on the verge of losing the race so I stretched my leg out and he accidentally stepped on the side of my ankle, causing my foot to bend on an angle more than its supposed to.
I didn’t feel anything because of all the adrenaline, so I tried to carry on running when I fell down in a heap, unable to put any pressure on my right foot.
That’s when this almighty pain kicked in and I screamed for help. All thirteen other players on the pitch and came to my aid and stood beside me, reassuring me whilst we waited for the ambulance to arrive.
I remember coming out of the x ray room and my mum and uncle were waiting for me. I knew something was very wrong and I collapsed into my mum’s arms sobbing.
I was right.
I had done my ACL in and as soon as those three letters came out of the doctor’s mouth I knew my foreseeable future was going to be extremely cloudy.
I also knew I wouldn’t be able to walk for up to three months as I required surgery. I also knew my once rosy dream of becoming a football coach was over.
Over eight months later in the august of 2017 I was a very different person.
Due to my injury and four month bed rest I had started to comfort eat, became a grumpy person to be around, gained a lot of weight and was depressed. I felt completely useless as everyone around me was carrying on with their lives and I was stuck in my own personal purgatory.
I had no goal that could give me motivation to get my train back on track. One day my mum was clearing out stuff from the shed when she found an anthology book.
She asked me if I remembered the book. I had no clue where the book came from until she opened a page in the middle. It had my name on it under a short story.
This was an anthology book that was published in 2009 consisting of the best short stories written by ten to thirteen year olds in the UK. I read the story I had written almost a decade ago and I smiled for the first time in a long time.
I had always been a kid with a wild imagination and used it to write, paint, draw and act when I was younger.
As I had no intention of going back to university the following academic year , I decided to become a kid again and do the things I used to do when I was younger.
I decided to focus on writing stories and scripts.
After a couple of months of getting my creative rhythm I decided to join an online website where I would offer my writing skills as a service to customers.
I offered to write short stories and scripts as I felt it would make me a little bit of money and would allow me to recalibrate my brain to having set targets again.
I was thoroughly enjoying this when in the January of 2018 I was sent an email asking if I would like to be an extra on a television show. I accepted as I thought it would be something different and a bit of fun.
However that was the day I felt like myself again.
I arrived at the location at 8am on a Wednesday and as I stood in the waiting area, someone brushed my shoulder and walked past me.
They turned around to apologize but I didn’t hear the apology as I was star struck as the person was none other than Jo Joyner, an actress who gained fame starring in the iconic London soap opera EastEnders.
I couldn’t believe it that she was in front of me and I also couldn't believe that we had a good five minute conversation until she was called by make up. This was the first of many famous people I was going to meet on this special day that brought positivity back into my life.
The day was long and we the “supporting artists” were mainly in the waiting area all day, but when we were on set we were instructed to dance to Indian and Pakistani music as the scene was set in an Asian wedding.
There were people of all ages and colors dressed in Asian wedding clothes and it was so much fun seeing these vibrancy of colors and energy around me. I even got a selfie with Adil Ray the star and creator of the comedy series Citizen Khan.
It was an amazing moment seeing someone from my ethnicity succeeding in the British entertainment industry. It would later turn out that from the hours of dancing, only a few seconds would actually feature in the episode.
I enjoyed this experience so much that I decided to look for drama schools around my region and I found one.
Funnily enough this acting school would bring me back right to the start of my university life as it was located literally opposite of the entrance to my first university where I gained my foundation degree.
It made me smile and it allowed me to reflect on my journey.
Now in the winter of 2018 I am studying Business and Technology on degree level and I am hoping to graduate within two years thanks to the advanced entry I gained via my foundation degree.
I am also still a writing scripts and short stories on a regular basis for clients and for my own portfolio.
Furthermore, I am now attending the acting school every Friday, where I am gaining professional acting training as well as enjoying time with the new friends I have made.
In the next eight months or so I am also planning on launching my own YouTube channel where I will bring my scripts to life, will focus on building a show reel and will look to collaborate with likeminded people.
Life is too short to sulk and moan.
It is a gift and we should enjoy it.
Whatever happened in the past has happened and unless you are Doctor Who you cannot change it.
But what you can do is focus on the present , as your present will determine your future.
Have no regrets and don’t look back.
