Overcoming the Fear of Being Loved
Accepting love can be a frightening journey…
Out of all the things there are to be afraid of, being loved seems like an absurd thing to fear. And yet, I believe more people are afraid of it than realize.
The old adage goes, “You accept the love you think you deserve.” But what if you were never raised to believe you deserved any love? If like me, you grew up in a household where the goal was to survive, not seek happiness and thrive, it can be hard to know what to expect from a loving relationship as an adult.
There were dark moments when I thought that I should give up the idea of seeking love and relationships. It would be better for everyone if I lived like a monk, locked away quietly, not letting people get too close. Even now, several years into marriage, I sometimes panic that I’ve done the wrong thing. Maybe I’m too unruly to love and I’ve gone against my own nature by trying to live with another person. I’ve sentenced us both to difficulty and dismay.
If you’re in a similar position, you probably have similar fears. You may avoid commitment and relationships, maybe even avoid the intimacy of close friendships. Maybe you’ve been disappointed too many times by loving more than was returned. Or maybe you’ve also never learned to be loved in a healthy way. Are you doomed?
