#Relationshipgoals vs. Relationship goals. Are you making the right choice?
Let’s start this on a good note. And what could be a better way to initiate this by letting you know that I love you social media. I really do.
I have nothing against you. I admire you for all the perks you have provided to our generation by letting people connect within a fraction of seconds. Gladly, now people don’t have to burn their fuel by roaming around their crush’s house just to have a single glimpse of them. Facebook search has made it so easy for everyone now. Isn’t that a clear advantage ’20s people have over us? Yes, I belong to the late ’80s generation.
So where were we? Oh, yes, RESPECT!
I have the utmost respect for you — particularly, for your hashtags. It’s just my “Dig into the deep” personality which has brought me here to clarify a few things and a few concepts about so-called relationship goals.
I just logged into Instagram, and before I could even type #relat…, your search suggestions popped-up with #relationshipgoals and the related tags as top suggestions. That too with some amazing pictures and quotes.
So coming back to my point, the last time I checked, you had around 79,81627 posts solely on Instagram for the #relationshipgoals hashtag giving #majorrelationshipgoals to millions of people. That number is huge, isn’t it?
That means almost 8 million goals are scattered over on just one platform, reaching out to millions of people guiding them to realize the true and meaningful potential of their relationship. That’s commendable!
But out of those millions, why there’s not even a handful of posts that actually describes practical and real relationship goals? Clearly, I am talking about relationship goals that matter in the real world for real relationships.
And even if I agree with the credibility of the goals that your hashtags project, why are so many relationships facing problems every day? Why are people struggling so hard to infuse life into their almost dead relationships even after liking, sharing and believing in those #relationshipgoals?
I believe you don’t have the answer to all my genuine curiosities, but don’t you think your users deserve some practical and real relationship goals rather than impractical #relationshipgoals?
Are you still here? Hello, Mr. social media!
Nevermind, It seems like even social media can’t find answers for my genuine concerns. For now, let social Media adhere to its #silencegoals.
So people, now it’s just between you and me. Yes I am talking to you.
Let me ask you the same thing. After all, you are the ones responsible for those millions of posts. You created all those #relationshipgoals. You are the one that followed them blindly. Going by that logic, you also owe me all the answers that I’m looking for.
Tell me what relationship goals are we talking about here?
A picture of a good-looking couple cuddling in bed, sharing some private moment with some intimate quote printed on it?
Or a picture of a girl posing at some exotic beach location, dressed in a beautiful designer gown, excited to have a beautiful diamond ring from her partner, affixed with a tag #relationshipgoals?
Or a guy lost in his Play-station with his friends since the whole day while his wife happily serves some beer and fries to all of them at regular intervals #Relationshipgoals, aren’t they?
Are you also aiming for these ‘real’ relationship goals?
Do you actually believe that these relationship goals will be your savior during the ups and downs of your relationship?
If you read these just to kill your idle time, it’s completely cool. But if you have seriously started considering these as your real relationship goals, then you are in some real shit, my friend. Just having a hot bikini-clad girlfriend or boyfriend who can afford diamonds is not a guarantee for a healthy relationship for sure.
Hollow relationship goals won’t take your relationship anywhere.
Don’t get me wrong here, I am not saying that exchanging gifts or having a fun time and doing random cute little things time and again for each other is useless, but they are just the perks of being in a good relationship, not the basis of it.
I really don’t want to be the one affecting Amazon gift sales this year or to be the reason for a big drop in diamonds sale. But there is a huge difference between #relationshipgoals and actual relationship goals. And that we need to understand.
If you are one of those people who love to share pictures of couples doing cute things or to take screenshots of your favorite love quotes, but you don’t even remember when was the last time you actually talked to your partner, like a real heart to heart talk, then it’s useless.
If you are the one who goes “Awwww” seeing a picture of a guy going on his knee and gifting his girlfriend a huge teddy with a #relationshipgoals tag, but you don’t even remember the last time you treated your partner with respect and does something out of love for them, it’s pretty useless again.
And if you really want to know what are the real relationship goals for a healthy relationship? Here they are:
Strive to be the best of friends before you compete for the #perfectcouple.
Every relationship needs a level of friendship to nurture. It’s the foundation of a godly relationship. Work on being the best of friends instead of jumping straight to “I love you” session and #soulmate hashtags within a few days into a relationship.
Cultivate a relationship that is based on friendship, somehow everything about the relationship just becomes easy, especially when you are being friends with your partner.
Have each other’s back even in the hard times.
Imagine a scenario where things are running smooth, your relationship is going with ease, and things are working as you expect them to work out. No arguments, no ego-clashes, a ‘perfect’ relationship.
Now just come out of your imagination. And get real. Because we are talking about relationships here and it’s impossible to expect this consistency out of them.
So in order to develop a strong relationship, learn to support each other in miseries and adversities. There’s nothing better than telling your partner with your love that ‘You are not alone’ when they need it the most.
Unconditional love in every condition.
If it’s limited to convincing your partner to let you watch your football game in exchange for bringing some groceries from the market later, it’s completely fine.
But, if it starts getting to the point where you start putting conditions on love or on the exchange of affection, then think no more and start working on your relationship.
You can’t say to your partner that “Do this for me, then only I will love you back”, or ‘if only you do this for me, then only you can prove your love towards me’. Stop this self-centered bullshit. True love seeks no condition. No matter how good or bad, real love never based on the fulfillment of conditions.
Share and support each other’s dreams.
If one day I come home and tell my wife that I want to be an astronaut now. Trust me! She won’t laugh at me. She will make me believe that “Yes! I can” and will start to Google “How to make your husband an astronaut after he comes back home drunk.” the very next moment. That’s not a joke.
Always have time and patience to share and listen to each other’s dreams. Always show faith in their capabilities without underestimating them. Accept them for who they are and put all your faith in trust in them. And then see your relationship grow stronger.
Treat your partner with respect.
Every relationship needs a certain level of respect in order to flourish. Sad news — you can’t ask for respect. You earn it by giving it.
You can’t exploit your partner in the name of love. You can’t treat them like trash while expecting them to treat you like a king/queen.
Want to be treated well? Then start treating your partner the same way. As you sow, so shall you reap.
Mature understanding to resolve every big or small fight.
If anyone claims that they are the best couple because they never fight, then, first of all, they are not even a couple. And if they still mean it, then they are wasting their time in a 'too perfect’ relationship.
Come on! Who doesn’t fight? It’s completely fine! What matters is your deep understanding to resolve every fight. If you have it, then no fight can break your relationship. Smooth roads are no fun; a little bumpy ride is cool at times to bring yourself closer to your partner.
Communicate well
Is your partner afraid to share everything with you? Does your partner avoid getting into deep conversations with you because you might judge them? If that’s so, then this relationship goal should top the list in your goals book.
Work on your comfort level and stop judging your partner by what they choose to share with you. Give your partner a comfort zone wherein sharing things becomes easier. Needless to say, communication is the key to any relationship. But what matters more are your reactions that follow after conversations.
Handle each other’s faults and weaknesses maturely.
Nobody is perfect. Better realize it soon. Don’t crib about your partner’s weaknesses and flaws all the time. If you can’t let go of your habit of finding the flaws in your current partner, please do him/her a favor by leaving them. Don’t waste each other’s time by picking flaws in each other.
But if you choose to stay, then learn to accept them the way they are. Don’t make them feel that they are not good enough for you. Focus on the strong points of your relationship and negate the weak ones. Now that’s a real relationship goal one should follow.
Respect each other’s personal space.
Nobody wants a 24×7 sticky gum relationship as they portray in some #relationshipgoals. We are human and it’s completely okay for everyone to travel back and forth to their ‘me time’.
A little solitude from each other can break your relationship apart. But, I guarantee you that spending too much time with each other has more chances to harm your relationship.
Learn to keep a balance. Do respect each other’s “Me- time”. And the next time when your partner goes into their ‘me time’, take it casually without being judgmental about it.
At last, don’t let all the social media glitter to fool you. Real relationships lie out of these influences. #relationshipgoals etc. are not the parameters to judge your relationships. They are always changing with every season and fashion. And, if there’s anything that’s consistent and real, that would be your unconditional love and trust for your partner.
Now enough about what I feel/think. What about you? What are your Relationship Goals, or I should say your #relationshipgoals?
After all, as I said you all owe me an answer. Now I am waiting for it. I am all ears.
