Social Media or Social Chaos?

In the hectic lifestyle of the modern era, everyone seems to be running behind something. Running behind that perfect job, running behind that one true love, running behind that illusion of a perfect life.

What makes it worse is that each day that we log in our smartphones, we fuel this emotion. So much so that it has become a part of who we are.

Just the other day I was scrolling through the Instagram profile of one of my juniors in high school. What did I see? Well, it wasn’t what I saw, it’s what I felt.

Unreal pictures of the ‘the average looking girl’ dressed in a hot yellow swimsuit sunbathing along a beach in Bali with the most dreaded ‘with my bae’ caption. Over 500 likes, 120 comments and probably 50+ cringeworthy replies on that post.

I scanned through her entire profile in a matter of few minutes and traced her life right after college.

Not only did she start her own business and not succumb to the daily pressures of the corporate world, she did that in style. Her own passion mixed with creativity. All her extravagant lifestyle and no austerity started making sense all of a sudden.

This was just the beginning.

In just one year, she was engaged to her high school sweetheart who took her to one of the most romantic spots in the world — Venice and proposed to her with a beautiful diamond studded ring amidst the sunset while the bride-to-be was in tears of happiness in the astounding white gown that she wore thinking it was just a normal casual date — or so her Instagram post implied.

Everything right from the setting of the evening to the pictures post proposal was beyond perfect. It was like going through the Instagram account of a celebrity.

The ‘right out of the Kardashian’s closet’ clothes, the going on several trips abroad with friends and boyfriend and just the idea of a perfect life that she created led me to believe that my life sucked

It didn’t just suck a normal amount but it royally sucked. I am doing a 9 to 5 job with very little time to grow or do anything for myself to enhance my skills.

I wake up tired, go to bed with limited expectations from the following day, binge watches each and every series I can find on Netflix and pretty much go through Facebook, Instagram & Twitter whenever I could.

I lack energy, don’t plan many trips and end up just doing what every bachelor does on a weekend — the typical house party scenes. There is no spice in my life.

I am just an ordinary human living an ordinary life and is this what I signed up for? Is this what my life was meant to be? I was a scholar in high school really — meant to live a fantastic life with all my dreams fulfilled but what is happening right now? Apart from the inevitable weight gain & social awkwardness?

I was in deep contemplation when a message on my cell phone interrupted my thoughts….

“Happy New Year Babe! Hope this new year is filled with loads of happiness and best wishes for you and your family. Well, it goes without saying you are going to have an awesome 2019. You have an amazing life, incredible job and everything anyone could ever wish for! Though we don’t speak much, I do go through your Instagram posts once a while. I wish I could live your life, and maybe I will once I come and pay you a visit! Hoping to meet you in Mumbai soon. Love, xxx”

Wait what?

Live my life?

Does she really think my life is that ‘amazing’, as she put it? Or was this a sarcastic message?

I was confused.

I opened my own Instagram profile and went through my posts. I was shocked at what I saw. If you look at my social media content, it is pretty much evident that I am this hotshot person with a fancy job with almost 20 best friends living the life any sorted 20 something would want.

I have put travel pics (no matter how local they are), delicious food pics, pics from Christmas party, office party. Posts with goodies that I ordered online that only probably rich people can afford.

My journey looks that of a strong, independent woman with reliable and solid best friends (this is true), with her head sorted who knows what she wants. Someone who shops till she drops and plans trips at regular intervals to enjoy life.

I was flabbergasted! If this is what people think of me through my Instagram profile, what makes me think that every other person’s life on social media is a true representation of who they really are and what they are really doing?

This brings us to one of the most toxic thing about our society today — Being Pretentious on Social Media Platforms! It’s a plague, it’s a disease that just promotes insecurity, depression and unrealistic expectations

I am not saying that anyone sharing pictures out of their perfect lives shouldn’t do so to avoid hurting anyone’s idea of a good life but I am more concerned of what we are doing to our own selves.

From that junior’s profile, I should have learned how to be level headed and have the courage to follow my passion, how to fall madly in love and believe that you will get your happy ending. Instead, I let insecurity get the better of me.

If you think about it, this is exactly what happens to most of us. We end up feeling unworthy and succumb to societal pressures. If our friends are well settled, we start comparing their journey with ours when in fact we can never do that.

Who knows — maybe the fashionista girl on Instagram is going through her own struggles that we are oblivious to? She isn’t my best friend — I would never know what she is really going through just like she doesn’t know what I am going through. This façade that we see — it’s about time we stop believing in it.

So what do we do?

Well, I will tell you what I am going to do — posting pictures of one’s happy moments isn’t a bad thing. I will myself not stop doing that.

However, not letting the idea of a perfect life narrated by someone else control me, well that’s the important part.

That’s what I want to strive for. I want to take the good from their ‘so-called’ perfect life and try and implement that on my own.

Just because I don’t have a house overlooking the ocean doesn’t mean my 3bhk apartment in Mumbai is something less than heaven. Just because I don’t have someone who is going to propose me in Greece while I pose for pictures, doesn’t mean it will never happen or that it has to happen. Partnership and marriages without all this is just as beautiful as long as there is love and honesty. Just because I don’t have the perfect face or the perfect body doesn’t mean I am not beautiful

With the advent of 2019, I strive to use social media in a much better way. To enhance myself, expand my interest areas, look for inspiration, focus less on bloggers and more on Philanthropists, take care of my mind and body, use the information online to my best advantage, read more books and not let someone’s idea of a perfect life define my journey.

I have already started — have you?