The 5 Best Benefits of Being Single
Being alone is beautiful and can help you find deeper levels of happiness.
Being single can suck. Especially if you’re a person who loves love.
I love being in a relationship. Giving to a person who means the world to me fulfills my soul and seeing them smile — especially as a result of me — just melts my heart. I love giving gifts, cuddling, date nights, intimacy, and making memories with my other half.
I think it’s safe to say we all love that.
But sometimes, a lot of the time, relationships can suddenly end. This can be damaging, and healing from the end of a relationship is no walk in the park either.
Not to mention, society looks down on single people.
I recently heard someone’s unsolicited opinion on the fact I was single that went something like this:
“Ugh, what a shame! You’re such a catch! Why aren’t you dating anyone??”
Maybe, I currently don’t want to? Maybe I just got out of something? Maybe…you should mind your affairs?
Why do people see being single as a bad thing? It’s not all doom and gloom nor is it a curse. I get it, being in a relationship is wonderful and blissful. So can being single if you know how to utilize your time in between romance.
I say we make the choice to flip the script and choose to see being single for what it really is: an opportunity for growth.
Being single does not mean that there is something wrong with you. Couples break-up. Sometimes you just aren’t a match.
Your worthiness is not determined by a relationship, status, or another person.
Your worth is determined by you. You validate you. That’s why it’s called self-worth.
Personally, this was one of my biggest issues. When I was younger, if a relationship ended, I would immediately get into another one. The longer I was single, the harder it was. Being a boyfriend meant I was good enough to be chosen.
I darted right into the next relationship to feel better about myself. I didn’t give myself the time to heal, reflect, or learn the lessons I needed. Hence, I brought the same issues with me into the new romance.
It ended, and the destructive cycle started again.
Don’t be me. Learn from my mistakes.
It’s wonderful if another person adds to your happiness, but they must never be the complete source of it. That’s far too much pressure for any one person to handle.
Happiness is a decision. It happens by choice, not by chance.
If you always need another person to feel good, then your happiness is conditional. This is a red flag for partners and should be a red flag for yourself.
Desperation is repelling. Have you ever been on a date with a needy person? You can feel that energy pouring out of them and you just want to run for the door! This is what we don’t want to become.
Rather, we should aim to become secure, confident, and not needing anyone. The way to do this is to learn how to make ourselves happy.
When you are single, find what brings you joy and do it often. The goal here is not to get happy to get a partner. The goal is to get happy! That’s the entire reason you want a relationship anyway: to feel better.
Feeling better is at the root, and you don’t need another person to feel better than you currently do. It can help, but it isn’t the only road to the destination of joy.
Hang out with friends, read, go to karaoke, dance, and live your life!
Cultivate your happiness. Tend to it every day. Then, once you get into a relationship again, your partner will add on to an already strong foundation of happiness that you created.
Fall in Love With You
Being single allows more time for another relationship you may have neglected: the relationship with yourself.
All that love that you so willingly give to partners can — and should — be given to you, from you! You really can’t be lonely if you like the person you’re with.
Just as a million likes on Instagram will never be enough if you don’t like yourself, the “perfect relationship” will never happen if you haven’t tended to your relationship with the person in the mirror.
Being single provides the opportunity for you to appreciate you. The better you are at giving love to yourself, the better you will be at giving love to others.
Many people out there believe the lie that they need a romantic partner to feel appreciation and love. That’s only because they don’t know how to love themselves.
If for some reason you aren’t in love with you, then ask yourself,
“What do I dislike about me and how can I improve?”
Then, make a plan and work on it. You have the time, so take advantage of it!
I love learning. Progressing as a human is one of my greatest passions. When I am single, I like to focus on new skills. I flat out ask myself,
“What are some things you’ve always wanted to do?”
“Who do you want to be?”
Currently, I’m writing a book, getting in better shape, and studying Italian. This fulfills and excites me. I learn more about myself and I’m also creating a better version of me as well.
What do you desire to do? What’s something you’ve always wanted to learn?
Get out a notebook and write the answers down.
Maybe it’s getting in shape. Maybe it’s learning to play an instrument or checking titles off of that book list.
Life is meant to lived! Being in between relationships and yearning for a new lover to come along is not living. That’s a slow death and a waste of time.
Change Your Thinking
We have gotten so good at actively disliking ourselves. The way we speak to “us” with our inner dialogue is tragic and can be classified as flat out abuse. Being single gives us the gift of time to sort this pesky issue out. We can learn how to treat ourselves with kindness and respect.
We would never speak to others in such a bashing and abusive manner, so why do we treat ourselves that way? Monitor your inner conversations with you. What’s going on in between your ears has the worst impact not only on your relationships but also on your well-being.
Whatever thought patterns we have running on repeat in our heads will eventually be accepted by our subconscious and we will operate from that place. Those thoughts get planted like seeds. The more you think those damaging thoughts, the more you water them.
Thinking a thought over and over like “I’m not good enough” will eventually become a belief. Catch yourself when this happens and think again. Literally, think again!
Use the negative thought as a trigger to immediately replace it with a healthier thought that serves you. Example:
“I’m not good enough.”
That was my damaging, go-to thought. This personal favorite of my younger self can then become:
“I’m not good enough, yet. But I can improve.”
Practicing the skill of how to think will benefit every area of your life. Including — and especially — your relationships.
If you’re currently single, your “person” is coming. They are looking for you just like you’re looking for them. Have faith in that and allow it to come in its own way.
Knowing this, utilize this time to improve.
- Validating yourself
- Cultivating happiness
- Falling in love with you
- Leveling up
- Changing your thinking
Being single is not a curse or a life sentence. And please, do not bash yourself if you aren’t currently taken. It’s temporary and it will pass.
Focus on becoming the best version of yourself so that your future relationship will be outstanding.