The Comfort Zone
Becoming comfortable w/ getting uncomfortable
Let me start this by saying it is absolutely OK to work on yourself. I’m trying to work on a better me & improve who I am as a human day after day. One day I will meet someone who I want to give my everything to. When that day comes, I want her to get the best version of me.
Lately, I’ve been trying to get more out of my comfort zone to achieve more growth in my life. Getting out of your comfort zone can be a very frightening & challenging experience, however, once you do — the results are evergreen.
It’s like when T’challa sips the purple drank in “Black Panther”. We all attain the ability to achieve the greatness that lay just outside our comfort zone, unfortunately, it’s just not as easy as downing some voodoo juice.
Shit, even T’challa had to get his dome rocked by a homie from Oakland before he could truly understand who he was & find himself.
Basically what I’m getting at is that you’ve got to put yourself into real-life challenges in order to grow which is hard! Take a look at the graphic below. This shows the linear progression of zones from Comfort to Growth. I find myself to be kind of on a yo-yo on this line going forward & backward at times which is OK!
Bet so let’s break this down a bit:
Comfort
Ahh, the Comfort zone. The place most of us love to reside. It’s safe. It’s known. No unexpected surprises or unknown variables. You have both hands on the wheel. Being in your comfort zone can be very helpful during specific periods of time in life, but it’s not optimal to take out 2 mortgages in this neighborhood.
See the thing about this zone is that Life — Real Life is not known. It’s not something that we can control & therefore throws curve-balls at us constantly.
When you are staying in that comfort zone you are at more risk of going haywire when the shit hits the fan. I say you a lot but I mean me as well.
You think you’ve got everything lined up & perfectly square but then you get smitten by a shorty out of nowhere & have no idea how to handle a change.
You chip your tooth on a pizookie which results in a root-canal & subsequent crown in a 3-month process while navigating finals/work/ other normal life duties.
While being comfortable is great it can also be detrimental to your ability to handle unknown random situations which can & will occur in life.
Fear
- Face Everything And Rise
or
- Fear Everything And Run
Y’all remember back in 2016 when there were a bunch of random ass clowns running around scaring the shit out of individuals? On my Momma, if one of them heaux popped up on me I’m hittin’ em w/ a two-piece special & a side of “fuck youuu dawg”.
Clowns have always freaked me out & I think it stems from a B-day party at a Mcdonalds when I turned 6. I cut my finger pretty bad because I thought it would be a mighty fine idea to poke it out the window while my pops rolled it up.. I spent the entire party crying, blood running down my hand & arm & staring at ole’ Ronald himself w/ his smiling ass.
With age came the knowledge of techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). I was able to switch my mindset on clowns from something that could hurt me — to just another small speck of existence in this vastly big universe. This opened up opportunities for me to go to fairs & watch movies & enjoy life w/o the fear of clowns.
CBT is a super useful tool for us to overcome the things we fear. One of my co-workers was deathly afraid of insects. Anytime she would see a beetle it would be a traumatic experience for her.
This severely limited her outdoor activities.
To help fix this she started taping a toy beetle to her phone at work so when she would pick it up or get ready to dial someone, she would see the beetle & it would train her brain into thinking that it is nothing more than just a beetle.
When it comes to the Fear zone it’s the same type of process. Maybe you’re not afraid of clowns or beetles but maybe
you’re afraid of peoples opinions of you
you’re afraid of not being good enough
you’re afraid of failing & find excuses as to why you can’t do something
Same logic can be applied here & the best way I’ve found to train your brain to not care about the Fear zone is by challenging yourself. Tim Denning wrote a beautiful piece on challenging your comfort zone.
Read through this list & pick a few things you think you can do. What you’re essentially doing is training your brain to accept what society would call abnormal behavior. In truth, you’re just living your best life w/o care of others opinions. It’s honestly fucking liberating.
Learning
The best part about challenging yourself is that you already set aside the fear aspect & have moved to the Learning Zone. Here is where I think I’m currently at. This is where you get to try new things/experience the world / expand your knowledge. This is where you start becoming comfortable w/ getting uncomfortable.
Next time you’re freaking out & decide to cut off your yeard or dye your hair blonde… maybe take an improv class? Go to an art class & create something random w/ some random people.
A few new things I’ve done this year so far:
Got a pedicure
Went to a concert by myself
Took a cooking class
Wine tasting event
Got a perk done
Rock climbing
Aura Reading
This is the area where you have to know that you don’t know everything. Educate me, don’t belittle me. In order to grow further, you must learn. So what if I look like a fool learning how to contra-dance? I’m getting out of my comfort zone & being taught new life skills.
It’s a work in progress but I will continue to say yes to random/new things this year to try to add to my skill-set as a human.
Growth
The more comfortable you are in uncomfortable situations, the more growth you’ll be able to accomplish. It’s like when you hold a plank in the gym. You may start out holding it for 30 seconds. You slowly start working your way to 1 minute. Then next thing you know you’re able to hold it for the length of a Drake song.
Planks are super key to building a strong core & strong mental toughness. Challenge yourself every day w/ an ab session inclusive of Planks. Whatever you do just know you’re doing it for yourself, to build a better person than you were the previous day.
A lot of times people tend to compare their failures to others highlight reel. (thx social media). Like that’s not how we grow. Be open & honest w/ yourself & ask the hard questions to break thru whatever walls prevent you from becoming the best version of yourself.
Here is where I want to reside. The constant growth zone. Inject my veins w/ uncomfortable situations & watch me fucking work. The optics can be whatever you create. It’s your narrative build but who are you truly? If you’ve read this far you’re either a stalker or really into my shit so I wanna thank you for that.
This writing is very cathartic. Y’all should try it! I wanted to bring you a few techniques & shit I use to help me daily. To help me grow. I mean I’m not really outspoken on the internet but I am working on my presence. I see life as one big game & your only rule is to make the game easier for everyone else. Why not use the internet for some good? Till next time readers. Stay wavyy.
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You know everything gon’ be all right, I promise
I apologize to you know, put y’all in this position, vent to y’all but
40 Mama always say don’t ask permission
Just ask forgiveness you know so uh, forgive me, yeah, yeah
