The One Thing That Will Change You For The Better Is This.
Forgive Yourself And Do Better
The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself. Confucius
The ability to acknowledge our mistakes is what makes us higher animals.
We’ve all been in a position where we hate ourselves for a mistake committed. It might be your fault directly or indirectly. How we react or treat ourselves when we make these mistakes goes a long way in seeing if we can stay on the path of correction. The stoic philosopher Epictetus put it best when he said things themselves don’t hurt us or hinder us nor do other people. How we view these things is another matter. It is our attitudes and reactions that give us trouble.
Mistakes can come from your art, skill, business, life and relationship.
How do you react when you make mistakes, do you beat yourself up for it? do you find a way to blame others for your woes? or do you get paranoid that you start destroying things around you?
If you do any of these, I am here to tell you there is a better way.
Epictetus once said the moral signs of the dawning of moral progress is the gradual extinguishing of blame. Small-minded people habitually reproach others for their own misfortunes. Average people reproach themselves. Those who are dedicated to a life of wisdom understand that the impulse to blame something or someone is foolishness, that there is nothing to gained in blaming, whether it be others or oneself.
So what can you do when you make mistakes be it big or small?
FORGIVE YOURSELF AND DO BETTER.
“You cannot travel back in time to fix your mistakes, but you can learn from them and forgive yourself for not knowing better.” Leon Brown
Did you perform poorly in your last exam? forgive yourself and learn better.
Did your last relationship ended badly? forgive yourself and do better.
Did your business crash because of the market? forgive yourself and do better.
Are your kids giving you a bad name? forgive them and teach them better.
Are you fired from your place of work because of a costly mistake? forgive yourself and do better.
Are you tired of your art not making a dent? forgive yourself and do better.
Is your other partner not getting you? forgive him/her and make things clearer.
Do you know why these five words sound so simple and yet difficult to practice? It’s because we haven’t learned the act of forgiving ourselves.
Forgiveness gives us the power to move out of the past and into the present and gives us control over our lives.
Author Ryan Holiday once said “The more forgiving and tolerant you can be of others, the more you can be aware of your various privileges and advantages and the more helpful and patient you will be”.
People who are not able to forgive themselves or others are those who commit suicide, drive themselves crazy and do all other terrible things to themselves. Mark Victor Hansen was right when he said, “Lack of forgiveness causes almost all of our self-sabotaging behavior”.
When you learn to forgive yourself and do better, you allow your mind to be more stable. And Epictetus put it best when he said no condition is so bitter that a stable mind cannot find some consolation in it.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” Gandhi
Are you angry at other people for the terrible mistake they did? Forgive them and teach them better.
The stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius recounts in Meditations that because people do wrong from ignorance, they should be taught the error of their ways while being patient, and to forgive their unwitting faults
If the mistake is from you, learn to do better while you forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself doesn’t improve you, rather you improve yourself by doing better.
You might be a writer and you are wondering why your articles aren’t getting any traction. Keep improving and don’t get tired of writing. After all, you are in it for the long haul. The only thing you can do is forgive yourself and write better.
Same thing with other areas of your lives. Why do you think drug addicts, armed robbers, alcoholics, and murderers are able to convert from their ways? It’s because they have learned to forgive themselves while trying to make themselves a better person.
Jeff Bezos has tried so many ideas with amazon that failed, same with Bill Gates, Elon Musk and the likes. However, these people have learned to forgive themselves while improving their business. So it’s not only about forgiving yourself, but you must also learn to do better.
Forgiveness is the very best tool that allows us to face what we have done in the past, acknowledge our mistakes, learn from them, leave them behind, and move on. It does not mean that we excuse what has happened, and it doesn’t mean we forget what has happened. It means we have learned and moved on in a better way.
We need to relentlessly eliminate the unforgiveness in our lives if we want to be free. Freedom is priceless. And, living a life of compassion starts by directing that to ourselves first.
As a matter of fact, let this be your mantra through life. I will forgive myself and do better. Because in the end, that’s all that matters. After all, when we sin against God, the only thing we can ask of him is forgiveness so that we can better our ways next time. And C. S. Lewis said it best when he said I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than him.
FORGIVE YOURSELF AND DO BETTER.
