This One Syndrome Is What’s Affecting You From Attaining The True Freedom You Deserve.
And here’s what you can do to stop it.
“Freedom is in being the masters of our own lives.” — Plato
The problem is you think you need a lot of things to live a better life when in reality you only need a few.
I once asked a friend of mine how much money he needs to have for him to stop complaining about life?
His answer: A lot of money that can’t be quantified will do just fine.
I asked him again how he intend to solve it with that amount of money?
His answer: Travel the world, buy a house and do whatever he desires as long as he is free.
Understand that money buys you freedom. But freedom isn’t doing whatever you desire. Because true freedom itself comes with a limitation.
You don’t need to have excess money that can’t be quantified before you can live a good life. But as humans, our love (desire) for the next best thing in the hope that it will satisfy and bring us lasting happiness we deserve is what we are always after. And this is what leads to the beginning of our problems.
The Grass is Always Greener Syndrome
By nature, we humans are not easily contented with our circumstances. By some perverse force within us, the moment we possess something or get what we want, our minds begin to drift toward something new and different, to imagine we can have better. The more distant and unattainable this new object, the greater is our desire to have it. We can call this the grass-is-always-greener syndrome, the psychological equivalent of an optical illusion — if we get too close to the grass, to that new object, we see that is not really so green after all. Robert Greene.
The grass is greener syndrome is rarely a goal but instead a habit of attention driven by hidden low self-worth. And it doesn’t lead to a sense of achievement, but to spinning our wheels writes Sheri Jacobson.
It All Starts With Your Desires
When our mind is overcome with desire, not only is the reality of the object obscured but we’re also unable to see the shortcomings of desire itself.
In all honesty, if you have money that can’t be quantified, why the hell can’t you do whatever you desire. But doing what only fulfills your desire will only lead you to your destruction and not freedom.
Freedom to many is the right to do whatever you want. It’s the right and the ability to follow your latest whim, wish, and your present desire. When you seek this kind of freedom you’re ruled by the wish, whim, and desire. Your urges own you, you don’t own them.
Wealth is not a problem; the problem is having a desire for wealth.
Friends are not a problem; attachment to our friends is.
Objects become a problem for us because of the emotional mind of desire.
How does your problem start with desire you may ask? By desiring things that are out of your control.
And in the wise words of Epictetus that says:
“Do your best to rein in your desire. For if you desire something that isn’t within your control, disappointment will surely follow; meanwhile, you will be neglecting the very things that are within your control that are worth if desire.”
While desiring things out of your control is one problem affecting your freedom, you bring yourself to the other problem.
Dissatisfaction
Pleasure isn’t in the fulfillment but in the pursuit.
We follow desire in the hope of getting satisfaction. But following desire only leads to dissatisfaction — Lama Tsongkhapa
Desire secretly carries the seed of dissatisfaction already in itself. When we don’t get what we want, we are disappointed and when we get what we don’t want, we are distressed.
The cause of suffering is not external; the cause of happiness is not external. The cause of true freedom is not external. The cause of what we experience is within us, in our mind. And what is that particular thing that creates every problem we experience in life? It is the dissatisfied mind of desire.
When things don’t go our way.
When we don’t get our desired outcome.
We want to control people, situations, life, the weather. The reality is we have no control over most things in life. But we think we should, because if we get our way then we would surely be happy, content and free.
At last, I have what I wanted. Am I happy? Not really. But what’s missing? My soul no longer has that piquant activity conferred by desire. . . . Oh, we shouldn’t delude ourselves — pleasure isn’t in the fulfilment, but in the pursuit. — Pierre-Augustin Caron de Beaumarchais
You need to understand that it’s perfectly okay if your desires are not fulfilled and you are not satisfied. Because in the end, “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.”
And if you learn to work with what you need, you will find that it’s not the excess that matters. But how you are able to make do with what you have at present to live a fulfilled life.
In reality, the result of following your desire is only dissatisfaction. Because true satisfaction is impossible. And you will never be free as long as you are being controlled by your desires.
What You Really Need
Start by working with your purpose.
The truth is purpose doesn’t require money or status. It just requires you to stop lying to yourself and start working on the things that matter to you.
Being free and secure is about living in a state of liberty rather than slavery. And your liberty is the ability to do as you please being the master of your own life.
If the purpose of your life is to be happy, then only do things that make you happy.
If the purpose of your life is to be useful, then only do things that will make you useful to yourself and others.
If the purpose of your life is to be at peace with yourself, then do things that will only bring you peace. If it doesn’t bring you peace, don’t do it.
“First be, then do and achieve.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Working with what aligns with your purpose is what stop you from the grass is always greener syndrome. And when you know what your purpose is and you’re able to work with it, you will achieve true freedom.
Freedom is a dangerous thing, particularly if you misunderstand the purpose of your freedom.
To be financially wealthy, you must have a purpose in life-meaning without purpose, you will never know when you have enough money and you can never be financially wealthy. When you have a definite purpose for your life, clarity comes faster, which leads to more conviction in your direction, which usually leads to faster decisions writes Garry Keller.
Financial wealthy people are those who have enough money coming in without having to work finance their purpose in life.
When you work with purpose, you tend to be more specific by making faster decisions because of clarity. And also because your actions will tend to harmonize with your thought.
“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” Dostoyevsky
A lot of people who aspire to be very wealthy get there and implode their lives because what they wanted was not actually more money, rather, something deeper and more fulfilling.
We all have something to live for and I can tell you it’s not money.
