Member-only story
Traveling the World has Ruined My Life
Or, the persistence of nostalgia.
I lived in South Korea for four years. During that time, I traveled throughout the country and was able to travel to other countries between work contracts. A month in France, a week in Hong Kong. Travel was a huge part of my life.
And then my life changed. I moved to the US and for three years, I haven’t set foot on a plane. Finances grew tighter and time off from work was short. Still, visits to Canada and weekends or day trips to various nearby cities offered some of the variety that I craved.
Finally, we started planning to take a trip abroad to stay with some friends in Europe. And then 2020 happened.
For me, travel had never been about luxurious indulgence. I started working the moment I left school and paid my own way, and family vacations were never something my family did.
I couldn’t afford luxury travel if I wanted to, but traveling the way I did let me experience life from a new perspective. Instead of luxury resorts far away from locals, I’ve stayed in hostel dorms and slept on friends of friends’ couches. Maybe it’s not the most relaxing vacation, but I’ve been able to see a glimpse into how locals really occupy these spaces and what it would be like to call these towns home.
Maybe that’s why I keep finding myself stuck with suffocating homesickness. Not homesickness just for a childhood home, but a longing for so many different places.
When I left Korea, I was feeling burnt out from a bad job and many of my friends were transitioning to new places and relationships. It felt like a good time to move on.
But now I can’t stop thinking about my old life in Seoul and wondering if I left too soon. I mentally walk down streets in my favorite neighborhoods and persistently daydream about moving back and renting a little loft in a quiet neighborhood and looking out over the city from my window.
I think of the old men selling fresh tangerines out of trucks in early winter. I remember sitting in the cafes lining the street near my apartment and piling onto the subway with friends late at night after a long noraebang session.
