Try Something You’re Not Good At — It’s Worth the Risk
I didn’t have the easiest time growing up. I went through abuse, bullying, long-term illness and had an insecure attachment to both my parents. One was abusive and the other was passive and rarely intervened. Life was hard. One day, life got too much for me and I planned to take my own life at 16.
I never went through with it.
I realized that if I did that, then I would never know if my life could be better than it was right then, at that very moment. I had to believe in something better, something greater. I was determined to turn my life around.
It wasn’t easy, though. Even thirteen years later the shadow of my past lingers. It’s not something that can be fully erased. I have learned to live with my demons, however.
This isn’t about being invincible. Think about it more like the armor that riot police wear. It allows you to take the blows. It doesn’t mean that you won’t get hurt physically — it means that your mind can’t be hurt.
Nothing in life comes easy. Nothing is guaranteed. While this may sound pessimistic, it’s not all bad news. It means that anything in life is possible. Difficulties in life allow us to appreciate all the things that we’ve earned and created ourselves.
Everything we do or say starts with a thought. It’s not always something that we think about closely. If you think you can’t do something, then you probably can’t. You’ve decided that for yourself in your own mind. If you think you can do something, then it’s possible that you can. It doesn’t mean that you do the task well, it just means you have the confidence to try.
Before I started writing on Medium, I was convinced that I couldn’t write. I had every excuse in the book. I hadn’t written much in years. I have no natural talent for it. My only writing qualification was a passing grade in English from high school and I failed the exam the first time! I had spent seven years studying art instead. I am borderline dyslexic. I am a slow writer!
I thought about all these excuses I was making for myself. I realized that they were just that; excuses. What I really meant was, I don’t have the courage to write. I’m terrified that people will point out my typos. I’m afraid that I’ll go on pointless rambles that bore the reader to death. I’m afraid that I won’t be any good at it.
No one’s good at anything on the first try. Perhaps you’re getting the hang of something on the tenth try, or the fiftieth. It will never be good the first time you try something. That’s okay. What sets you apart from others is a deep willingness to learn and be better at the skill than anyone else. Consistency is the key.
Nothing is worse than the hell you create in your own mind. Take it from someone who has been severely depressed, anxious and paranoid. Even if you’re well mentally, you may be plagued by the ‘if only’, the ‘I wish’ and the ‘only if I had a bit more time’ kind of thoughts we think when we are laden with regrets.
All I’m saying is that it’s never too late to learn something new. It’s easy to pick up a skill that you think you’re good at — but it’s even better to pick up a skill that you don’t think you’re good at. Writing has given me a lot of things that art never could. It’s still creative, but it’s different.
Maybe writing is more relatable, I’m not sure. All I know for sure was that I had a reason for writing. I wanted to help others. I wanted to share my own experiences. I wanted to heal. It didn’t matter if I was bad at it. I was going to do it anyway — and I am!
Writing has helped me to become bulletproof. I’ve shared personal stories and I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable. In this vulnerability, I’ve found enormous strength. I’ve found inner strength in doing something I thought I was bad at.
So, if there’s a new skill that you want to try but have reservations about starting, ask yourself ‘Am I afraid of trying, or am I afraid of messing up the very first time I do it?’
Then ask yourself, ‘What do I really have to be afraid of?’
The answer is nothing. You’ll feel the regret more if you don’t try at all. So, give it a try? What do you have to lose?
