Undocking: it takes courage
An awful lot of courage
I am drafting my intentions for 2020 and where I want to be one year from now. I am excited, overwhelmed and downright freaking scared.
Big words, bold capital letters: Creativity, Connections, Love, Growth. I already feel the ground slipping under my feet.
Regardless of how hard life, last year, or yesterday was, the past always looks like the comfiest blanket, no need to claim my space there, it has already my fingerprints all over, no need for directions either, it knows how to perfectly envelop my body and hold me tight. Regardless of how bad or good it has been, the past triggers feelings we are familiar with, chemicals in our brain — cortisol, adrenaline, dopamine — we are already addicted to.
What it takes
It takes courage to cut the wires that connect us to the autopilot.
It takes intention to prune the branches whose shadows make us feel bigger, taller, more connected and part of a system.
It takes trust to thank the past season for all its fruits and teachings, and accept that we need to move to pastures new.
It takes love to shake off the past and embrace change.
Taking stock
The last few months of 2019 have been incredibly intense: a sent-by-the-Universe sequence of dark WTF moments and bright AHAs, interspersed with WOWs and OMGs that hit me right square in the face.
I am taking all the learning I have been blessed with in 2019, treasuring it but making sure I am fully undocking. I am moving forward stronger and kinder.
I am terrible at goal setting, I have always been and right now it is no exception. The fear of failure, of not being enough, but also the inability to celebrate wins, make goal-setting a self-defeating exercise. The more I write about my intentions for 2020 the more blurred it gets. I am confident I can achieve anything I set my mind on, but it takes courage. The goals are clear, they touch upon different spheres of my life, yet the path towards them converge on a single word, C O U R A G E.
Courage has to become the way
Courage means undocking from my comfortable fear-driven life, it means giving myself permission to screw up BIG, ridiculously BIG, to feel naked and laugh about it. Am I ready for this? Hell no. Have I got what it takes? Are you kidding me? Hell no, but wait — good news — once you undock, the past is no longer an option.
“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius.
I don’t care about me in one year’s time, I want daily accountability. I want to tick the boxes of courage, intention, trust, and love, every single day. Courage has to become the default setting and not the exception. This is what I want to celebrate in one year from now. I want to show up, I don’t give a f*ck about anything else.
Hold on tight to your seats. Undocking sequence initiated.
