We Excuse In Which We Are Truly Not Interested In
Speak with heart, not with tongue.
An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded. — Pope John Paul II
I remember the day when my first girlfriend was on the phone and said. “I am sorry, I am not getting what I expected.”
Of course, I was imperfect, I have self-doubt, I didn’t understand her, and I am sure that she wasn’t happy with me.
She was right, but I am not taking the right or wrong approach here. My friends assured me that she was not a perfect fit for me.
I know we have one or another life problems, but we manage it with responsibility. She was withdrawn, she spoke this line to three other guys before me and moved.
However, I took responsibility for not executing these mistakes again, and this perspective resulted into 6 years, (still continuing) unbreakable and mature friendship.
Life is not right or wrong. Sometimes, it’s in between.
She justified every time and never had an authentic relationship with anyone. I sorted out mistakes and ended up with some of the best people in my life.
The main difference I observed:
No matter how much you right or wrong, but when you start using defense mechanisms, you stop yourself from creating an authentic and honest life.
Those who excuse, aren’t interested in you from the first day.
Sometimes, everyone supporting your statement and you overlook and lying with yourself.
I believe in one truth:
People are more valuable than your complaint or an explanation, and if you prioritize problems over people, you are not interested in him or her.
If you aren’t making an excuse doesn’t mean other people will change or start doing what you expect. But, you will be so strong that you can go beyond this shits.
Most people fake or present reasons for why, what, how, if, and but.
Excuses Are Comfortable, And Easy To Explain.
Maybe you don’t like your job, maybe you didn’t get enough sleep, well nobody likes their job, nobody got enough sleep. Maybe you just had the worst day of your life, but you know, there’s no escape, there’s no excuse, so just suck up and be nice. — Ani DiFranco
Excuses are misleading clarifications.
People want to be certain and evade pain. Excuses satisfy these hidden needs.
Excuses are socially acceptable behaviors, people think she or he is right. They justify because they want to be heard, their prayers will be answered, and their heart will get some sort of sympathy.
Sometimes it’s OK, even I excused a lot, but I took responsibility more than a grievance.
Let’s take a look at this.
Some Popular Excuses.
I Am Not Good Enough.
“Even I am not, my teeth come out from the mouth, 5' 2” height and not well shaped, even Jeff Bezos Is not good enough. He recently had a divorce. Everyone is like you. They are not from Mars or Pluto.”
I Have A Family, And So I Cannot Afford It.
“OK, say that your expectations have changed than what you want to buy.”
I Don’t Have Money To Start.
“Even I don’t have. Still, I am writing this post. It’s free. By not having money, I saved $20,000+. I have 250+ books borrowed from the library, read 2000+ insightful articles and I had taken courses with the help of my friend. I have paid tools and all I get this with zero bucks and if you are talking business or investment then do a job, you will have enough amount in 2–3 months, then start from small.”
I Don’t Have A Time.
“Seriously? Because I have 2 hours free every day and I am writing 2000 words in 4 hours plus editing and proofreading. Man, suppose you have a girlfriend to date with then you are not complaining like this.”
I Have So Many Responsibility.
“That’s cool, so, why are you excuse if you are responsible for something. If you are good at taking responsibility, then I would say you shouldn’t excuse like this. Sorry.”
It Wasn’t My Goal.
“OK, then accept it. Be clear and specific. Understand why you do what you do. You are wasting your time, money and energy by focusing on irrelevant goals.”
It’s Not Working.
“Again, it happens, find next way, experiment, notice where you lack.”
I Am Fired.
“Then what would you expect from me? Admit it, do it again, want to quit? Then quit. Don’t do anything which isn’t fulfilling you because if you do it, you will excuse, so, determine what you are actually craving for.”
I Am Not Making Progress.
“It takes longer than you think. Test and experiment, you will get a picture.”
I Want To Change Myself.
“Then do it. Don’t just say, doing is better than telling the world that you want to change.”
I Am Lost.
“I understand, but you still have a chance to prove your worth.”
No One Loves Me.
“Not everyone believes the same as you. So, deserve before you desire.”
I Am Not Feeling Like This.
“OK, feelings shift, not decisions. You feel different with time.”
I Am Not Interested In You.
“OK. Thanks, you have a reason to left. So, tell me why you are not interested in me? If you explain this, I would appreciate it. Honestly, you were not interested in me from day one. Sorry, but this is the fact.”
We Are Friends, Not More Than That.
“OK, say this lines 1000 of times to yourself because if you are sure on your statement, you won’t feel anger and regret. And if you get angry, you are more than my friends. You are lying with you and me.”
You Will Find Better Than Me.
“You are rejecting yourself then how are you expecting from someone to love you?”
You Are Different, Or You Have Some Special Powers.
“I am not from Mars, I am from planet Earth. I have different circumstances, but you have your unique life experiences. Just embrace it.”
I Can’t Do It.
“Then stop it, because it requires way longer than you think. You have to say millions of time that you can’t do it and you are not capable of confessing the truth.”
I Don’t Have A Life I Wanted.
“Then design one.”
You Lack This.
“Then find the one who has this, because you love him more and get what you want.”
Still, It’s Not Enough.
“Everything is process, don’t be perfect. Accept once it looks better.”
You Are Wrong, I Am Right.
“OK, I will be right too.”
It’s Not The Right Time.
“Then you probably know when the right time will come.”
I Am Sorry.
“It’s OK, but I don’t oblige this, I want improvement.”
I Am Not Intelligent.
“It doesn’t even matter, you have something unique. Find and hone it.”
I Am Not Educated Enough.
“Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates are college dropouts. Elon Musk learned rocket science by himself. Only you need commitment and willingness to execute efforts.”
If I Would Have This…
“…And you wouldn’t have that, right? Because you are daydreaming.”
Maybe It’s Because Of This.
“OK, find and replace.”
People Are Cheaters.
“And you want to be one of them, or you would like to be someone else?”
I Don’t Know What To Do.
“I don’t know every time, and that’s fine.”
Why This Is Happening With Me.
“Life happens with people worse than you even think.”
Consider for a second, any of this excuse have logic? Some might have, but people out there who proved these lines irrelevant,
Success needs clarity.
If you want exceptional results, you need extreme clarity. You have to ask thousands of time why you need what you need because you will get a chance to justify and complain every time you fail. So, you have to decide your goal instead of these lines. Most people select excuse, they leave, run, and lose hope. Life doesn’t work like this.
You must be clear what and why you need. If you are honest about yourself, you will choose your goal.
Speak With Heart, Not With Tongue.
And oftentimes excusing of a fault doth make the fault the worse by the excuse. — William Shakespeare
Most people speak with a tongue. They commit what they think, but they aren’t sincere enough.
Speak with clarity and commitment.
I have powerful Mantra.
“Admit it means admit it.”
If you are unclear about whether you get it or not, then rethink. But, don’t commit with a tongue.
Your heart knows what is real and what is an excuse.
Listen to your gut because you know what you are doing.
Don’t go for 100%, but when you are pretty sure, then commit, and if something arises out of expectations, take responsibility.
Complaints are excuses too.
Complaints are the second form of justifications. I am not saying that it’s right or wrong but if you are complaining means you are likely to make an excuse in different situations.
Let’s take responsibility and commit to change.
Remember the post headline. If you excuse, you are not interested in.
You think I am exaggerating, but it’s not. I am writing this piece with my experiences.
The truth is;
Most people don’t get what they want because either they complain or justify. When you don’t take an obligation and analyze plus-minus, then it’s bad.
Complaints are necessary but are responsible for what you have done.
Only change makes the difference — not excuse.
Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant. — Tony Robbins
Let’s deny comfort zone and encompass excuses too. Let’s be genuinely interested in what you are craving to accomplish.
