When it’s time for a change?
I have noticed a pattern lately. Recurring feelings and thoughts. Am I in a good place? Should I be somewhere else doing something else?
After several discussions with friends and random people, I realized that it is not something unique. It is a rather general feeling, most people face this at certain points in life. It could be about a job, a place you live, or a relationship you are in.
Everything is great at the beginning. I feel full of energy, I am enthusiastic, proactive and I tackle problems in a really effective way. Time goes on and months or even years pass. I face the endless flood of problems I have to solve. The situation is better for a while but the issues come again. Somehow I lose the energy to fight, the motivation to figure out new ways to tackle different situations. Negative feelings appear. Doubts.
Am I in a good place? Should I change?
Somehow I always find something to convince myself not to change. It could be people, projects, money, or just good old memories. These things give me the strength to keep on going.
These feelings appear rarely at first but more and more often after time. Suddenly I realize that I have a lot more negative thoughts and feelings than positive ones. It has an effect on other aspects of my life. No matter how hard I try to keep my work-related issues outside of my private life, it is not possible.
My private life will affect my work performance in a way as well. I have to maintain private and professional well-being in parallel in order to manage sanity. In these doubtful times, I always think about one of my relatives, and how he tackled these situations.
Here is the story in short.
Let’s call him Bob. Bob started working at a company 25 years ago. This company was growing fast, stable cash flow, young experienced people with full of enthusiasm. Bob got a nice position, he was full of plans and motivations.
Years passed away, Bob was still at the same position. He realized things aren’t going as planned, he won’t get a promotion anytime soon. He was still young, he got multiple job offers which he declined. He did believe in the company, he did stay loyal.
The economical crisis came, the company had money issues. They were short on cash. They had to sacrifice quality and let go of some people. They offered Bob a new position, from the old office job he was ordered to go to the storage units and move stuff around. They promised him to get his old job back. They haven’t cut his salary. He said OK and took the job. He was fooled by the promises, he still had faith in the leadership.
A year passed. The company was still short of cash. His boss said: “We’ll cut your salary to half, if you won’t take it you’ll be fired!”. Bob did remember the old times. He had some friends at the company. There were not many open positions at that time in the area. He decided to take it. I still have friends here, at least this job is not stressful. Better times will come again!
His friends left the company. He got a new boss. The new boss was yelling with him all the time, he was threatening him with firing. Yelling and aggressive behavior became more and more usual. Bob is still working there.
25 years passed. Bob is getting close to retirement. He has no savings, a really low salary, mental and physical issues due to the hard work and stress. He is still working there. In his reality, he has no chance to get another job elsewhere. He said, “I did survive for this long, just a few years till retirement…”
I don’t want to be like Bob. He became such a negative role model in my life. A behavior I would like to avoid at all costs.
These changes don’t happen overnight. Otherwise, it would be really simple. Everyone would just quit and move on. It would be so much better. Usually, these changes happen over long months or years. Slowly, getting worse and worse a little by little.
Sometimes I wonder when I feel low: am I on the path to become Bob? Or is it just a minor setback? Should I just move on now? Will I be a job hopper who is changing jobs frequently and leaves after the first negative impression? When enough is enough? When to move on?
I don’t think there is a universal truth or a formula to be used. It really depends on the individual and the situation. In general, change is hard. People would like to avoid change. Therefore they create a false positive reality to live in. I realized it’s getting worse by age.
