Why 2018 Wasn’t “Your Year”
Misinterpretation of the first thing we learn as human beings.
I want to be wealthy. I want to be attractive. I want to be noticed.
I want to be happy.
These are the few phrases that have continuously looped in my mind for the longest time. With a combination of family expectations and societal pressures, I constantly blamed “society” for my inability to achieve certain goals or to be satisfied with what I had and who I was.
We are unintentionally taught that happiness derives from success, which aligns to wealth and stability, but also feel the pressure to constantly project our perfect selves and gain recognition from those around us.
Like many others, I often responded with “because” when asked whether I had finished something that was unfinished. Because of my professor, I could not enjoy my semester due to the assignment workload. Because of my friends, I could not put in personal time into my side projects this year. Because of my parents, I could not afford to attend my dream school and pursue my desired career. Yet, I still wanted to be happy, but because of external consequences, I was not able to.
Yes, happiness is the ultimate goal that we all want. However, I came to understand that wanting is merely a thought, a desire, a some-what simple yet complicated wish. Like many others, I had a long list of things that I wanted to accomplish that I believed would ultimately lead to a happier me.
Replacing My Wants
I don’t often say what I want but it seemed like the term “want” had made its way to engrave deeply into my values, beliefs and lifestyle. What I needed was a little less wanting. With a combination of self-reflection, time and re-affirming what my actual goals were, I realized that the way I was interpreting joy and happiness was contorted and highly dependent on possessions, people and expectations.
I ultimately switched the term “want” and replaced it with what I needed. A simple shuffle of words drastically changed my outlook on my life.
I want to be wealthy.
I will aim to be independent.
I want to be attractive.
I will strive to embrace my worthiness.
I want to be noticed.
I will work to be respected.
I want to be happy.
I will choose to be happy.
What I wanted all these years turned out not to be what I wanted after all.
Wanting is a demand and a request we put on ourselves that often circulates around the perceptions and acceptances of our circled community. It is not about wanting, but choosing. I wanted to be happy but I chose not to be. My professor, parents and friends ultimately had nothing to do with my inability to interpret and dictate my emotions, actions and mindset. It was all in my control as to how I responded to my environment.
It’s Just a Feelin’ I Got
Happiness often feels like a feeling, and for many years I thought it was. We often argue that we can’t control it, it’s a feeling I have, you know? I just can’t describe it! But that feeling we have is a choice, a decision that we are given the ability to interpret and conquer. Understanding the reasons behind our decision to be happy is an essential part of accepting our true selves.
No Secret Recipe
We are commonly bombarded with the idea that the key to happiness can be found here, there and wherever. The key to happiness isn’t dependent on where we are, the things we possess, or the people we surround ourselves with — the key is within ourselves, waiting to be grasped. It has been there since day one, and will forever be in our possession.
So, grasp your key and hold onto it tightly; don’t let anything or anyone take or borrow it from you. Your key keeps you alert, awake and alive. It is your key that you, and only you, have the ability to open and access the infinite paths and experiences in your life.
So for the upcoming year, understand that our new years resolutions don’t lead to a happier life. They are there to aid us to become better versions of ourselves. We don’t simply want to be happy.
We choose to be happy.
