You can’t control this, just relax
Everyone had this feeling when they were afraid of something they cannot control. If you think about this in a rational way, you realize you got no reason to be afraid. However, we, human beings, think and act irrationally all the time. We let our feelings take over, never mind if they are helpful or not.
I don’t fear flights, but I have a fantastic brain. A brain that thinks what can go wrong, especially in situations like flights, where if something went wrong it could have terrible consequences. It’s just me, I can’t help it! The plane starts speeding on the runway, v1, takes off, and once we are airborne, I immediately think to my self “are we still in the air?”, “did everything go right?” and “we didn’t fall from the sky, did we?”.
Why do I think that? What’s wrong with me? After all, flying these days is very safe. One of the safest ways to travel, way more than driving a car.
I don’t know why I have these neurotic thoughts. But I do know what I can do to make them go away and relax.
Realize that in life there are things you can control, and things you cannot control. Try to think about this in a rational way. If you try to control the things you cannot control, well, you’ll just be miserable. Focus on the things you can control, only. Don’t waste your time and energy on the things that are beyond your control.
In his great article, Nick Wignall explains that some things are not in our responsibility because we can’t control them.
If you are controlled by intense feelings, it can be really hard to stop and think logically, but you can practice this, and you’ll get better with time.
The best technique I know is deep breathing (off course!). When I am sitting on the airplane, during takeoff, and I begin to think about bad things, I start breathing.
Deep breathing allows me to clear my mind, and make room for rational thinking. I keep telling myself positive and assuring statements instead of the bad thoughts I had. “You chose a very safe way to travel”, “it is highly unlikely that something will go wrong”, “you cannot fly an airplane yourself, you got to trust the pilot to do that for you”.
You can’t control everything in this world, and you can’t do everything on your own. You have to collaborate and work with other people. We are social animals, and we need other people. Trusting other people means letting go, giving up control. Have faith in them so they can help you.
This is an important realization for life. For every aspect of life, business, social life, and personal life, you got to trust other people. Let them do the work for you, you can’t do it all yourself.
