You Can’t Solve Your Own Problems.
Emotional pain is tough to overcome.
“No one understands me, it’s not what you think. I don’t need to share my problems with anyone, I can solve myself. I don’t need anyone.”
Have you ever thought like this? Especially, we men have this type of attitude.
I can understand because sometimes, no one knows what we are going through.
Some people are critical, they notice negative points and makes you even worse. So, it’s better to solve everything by ourselves.
We hesitate to reveal vulnerable part because we have a fear of rejection, criticism, loneliness, and failure.
And why should you? You know everything.
But for women, it’s not natural. They share their problems with each other and find the solutions. They share vulnerable parts and don’t afraid of being criticized.
Asking for support to someone else is uncommon for men, but still, you can break this rule and speed up your results. But do it strategically, don’t go for everyone to seek help because not everyone is the perfect fit for your queries.
But first, change unrealistic perspectives that hold you back from progress and being more lovable.
What you will learn in this article:
- Why it’s necessary to ask for support?
- Why you can’t solve your own problems?
- How to do it strategically that sure-fire your progress without being rejected?
So, let’s jump in.
People Have Distinct Perspectives.
Tell the same story to 50 people and ask them to describe as it is. People add unconventional details in the story and form new ones.
Everyone has diverse backgrounds, experiences, culture, and life. So, they come with a distinct perspective.
What is right for you may be wrong for them or have diverse ideas. So, if you are in a problem, people will advise you in lots of different ways.
I have one rule, if I am in trouble, I ask opinion to my friends, family members and lots of other people. I never disclose the actual matter, but I ask them what I want to sort out.
Some people have not so valuable ideas, some have deep and insightful viewpoints, and some people will criticize.
Your goal is to learn from them, don’t take it personally. You are asking them to understand your dilemmas in a more peculiar way.
Some people will expel and criticize. So, bear their rejection too. Once you allow it, you can see your obstacle more thoroughly. Everyone has passed through different experiences. So, they can present clear answers.
Your goal is to learn, so, listen to their point of views. Don’t interrupt in between. Interview them.
This is the different ways to understand the same problem. And every situation has lots of ways to reach there. So, they can show you what you have overlooked.
Emotional Pain Is Tough To Overcome.
Why I am a big fan of asking for support?
Because when I am suffering from a painful situation, I am blindsided about everything. I see a more severe condition than reality and deceptively analyze things. I feel unknown circumstances and extreme adversity.
Basically, I see situations biased. And supposedly, if I take decision based on my thinking, my relationships will suffer. People interpret me as a negative person.
“A lot of emotional stress that people go through, some people figure out a way to handle it. They have a strong enough support system to keep going and keep moving forward. And some people, they feel like they don’t have that outlet. “— Terrell Owens
Emotional pain is hard to pass through. It takes more time and efforts.
So, your first step is to block the decision-making process. And once you hold decisions, you have to ask for help.
Second, you have to reveal emotional dust to someone. When someone listens to you, you feel relieved.
But you need someone to reduce the consequences of pain. Suppose, no one talks to you, or you don’t have people who can understand you than you have a hard time.
So, ask for support, not to solve problems but to have listened, to express dust.
Negative emotions have energy too. It can’t easily calm down.
Women share everything because they feel intense feelings than men. So, their primary need is to have listened, not solved.
And honestly, if you share your vulnerable part to your loved ones, they will love you even more because you are honest about your feelings.
See, you can’t picture clear solutions in adverse conditions. Ask for others to make a point. Not their all the answers will help you, but you can be more precise.
Your unconscious mind has various perspective to form the totally new answer. So, support is beneficial. If done in the right way, people can help you beyond your imagination.
Don’t use someone for the emotional dustbin, expressing what you are feeling is a great way to deal with the situation, but that doesn’t mean people own your problems. They have their predicaments too. What you can do is to ask about opinion regarding your condition. People love to make points. They feel being valued.
Asking For Support Bond Love, Happiness, And Relationships.
I noticed one important thing.
When I ask about something important. People love to share their own viewpoint. Second, they feel respected, valued, and honored. People think that someone is caring for them, someone needs and loves them.
So, they step up and forge deeper relationships. They are ready to support even more.
Ask them open-ended questions and listen. Most of the times, they helped me because they feel needed.
So, use this emotional need. You will win their hearts.
“Life is not a solo act. It’s a huge collaboration, and we all need to assemble around us the people who care about us and support us in times of strife. “— Tim Gunn
You Can’t Be Successful Alone.
Obviously, the community has power. Sometimes, you need hope and encouragement, not solutions.
You know everything, you have resources, you have a plan, but yet, you lack something. So, the community provides hope and appreciation. Suppose you have accomplished something that they are the people who congratulate you.
Of course, you can’t be successful alone because if you have enigmas, who you can ask for support?
Yes, you have to decide what you wish, but you need someone to share your victory.
“I believe that we all have a responsibility to give back. No one becomes successful without lots of hard work, support from others, and a little luck. Giving back creates a virtuous cycle that makes everyone more successful. “— Ron Conway
I remember one movie dialogue.
“When God is not receiving your call, you have to take support from other people.”
There are premium support groups for business, education, and research.
Sometimes, you think you don’t need others, but if you have like-minded community, you can go faster than the other 95% of people.
It’s Beyond Your Ego.
See, asking support is not ego. We all need others and world survives upon this faith.
Suppose you don’t need others than why God made your loved ones.
Remember, self-love is not the complete form of love. Everything you see starts from you and end with others.
You are the part of the universe, not the universe itself.
Ask For Support, Not For Care.
Yes, this is the line where emotional dumping and real help differ. Some people are insecure, uncared, and unloved. They bore others.
They are adverse enough to make others cynical. People will piss off from their story.
I dumped so many people who just use me to share their difficulties, and haven’t take action.
People like vulnerable people, not weak ones.
Don’t ask for care, love, and respect because it’s given first. It’s a choice. But you can ask for support.
You can’t live alone, you need to be loved.
“Surround yourself with people who provide you with support and love and remember to give back as much as you can in return. “— Karen Kain
Let’s Get The Help.
“Choose to focus your time, energy and conversation around people who inspire you, support you and help you to grow you into your happiest, strongest, wisest self. “— Karen Salmansohn
If you only share your intricacies, then people will run away, but if you ask their verdicts, they will help.
You can’t resolve your own puzzles because you don’t have a gut to surface the truth. You know everything about other’s issues even you have a solution for them, but when it comes to you, you feel bewildered.
We all can think clearly if we are not attached emotionally with the situation.
In psychology, we have been trained that you can’t counsel yourself. When the doctor gets sick, they go for another doctor for treatment.
God created us with this system. It’s a universal law. You can’t live alone.
Everyone tells you to know yourself. But at any point in life, you understand others more than yourself.
So, help others and ask for help with your problems.
Because the third person is logical when it comes to another’s life.
