Why we’ve gotta stop asking “Why aren’t you drinking?” at work events
It sounds simple enough but in reality, it’s something that comes up a lot more than it should.
It’s still very much the case that working life and drinking culture go hand-in-hand.
Your company just won some new business? Crack out the champers.
Work Christmas Party? Roll out the bar tab.
Friday night and the team is working late? Wheel out the drinks cart to keep the troops happy.
Celebrating the end of the work day? Share some cold skewies.
Hell, there’s even a well-loved advertising campaign that’s been telling us since the 70s that a hard day at work “needs” a big cold beer.
Drinking and work culture have become so intrinsically linked, we’ve almost forgotten that they aren’t the same thing. So when someone from your team inevitably bucks the trend and opts for a lemonade instead, we’re almost guaranteed to hear someone ask: “Oh? Why aren’t you drinking?”
This can seem like a relatively harmless question, but to the person on the receiving end, it might be deeply personal.
You would probably never ask your colleague if they’re pregnant; trying for a baby; on certain medications; trying to lose weight; if they’ve ever struggled with alcohol addiction; or have certain cultural or religious beliefs — most would agree that these questions are simply far too personal, and frankly none of anyone’s business. But this is just a small sample of possible things you might be inadvertently asking when questioning a person’s decision not to drink.
It goes without saying that everyone in the workplace should have the freedom to share personal details on their own terms — and not just because they were backed into a corner over a boozey work lunch — so why is this question still so common? It’s one of those things that, once you step back and think about, you can’t unsee the pervasiveness.
So, the bigger question we should all be asking is, “Why does it matter?”
If someone chooses not to drink at a work event, does it mean they’re not invested in the team or not wanting to be involved? Does it mean they don’t want to celebrate “the win” or feel a sense of reward? Or does it mean they’d simply prefer to wake up feeling fresh the next day?
Someone having to ‘prove’ their commitment to a workplace by drinking alcohol is more akin to a hazing ritual than a company value — so if this has become your company’s modus operandi, it might be time to suggest new ways to build culture and connection.
Whether it’s a work lunch, Christmas party, or Friday night get-together, everyone deserves equal opportunity to have a good time.
So the next time you hear someone say “Why aren’t you drinking?”, feel free to jump in and respond, “Why does it matter?”
Cheers.
Lived is helping people who want to quit, cut-back, or are exploring a change with alcohol. In our app you’ll learn from people who have been in your shoes and know what really works.
