Unmasking Is A Privilege I Don’t Have
Autistics often feel that unmasking is a liberating experience. That’s not the case for me.
As someone who wasn’t told that they could be autistic until their early 50s, I’ve struggled with the concept of unmasking. While I knew the definitions of masking and unmasking, I didn’t fully understand how they applied to me.
Masking is when an autistic person alters their behavior to better fit in with neurotypical people, or those who have the brain functions, behaviors, and processing considered standard or typical. I liken masking to contorting my autistic self into a neurotypical pretzel to make allitics (non-autistic people) more comfortable around me as it mitigates any harm I might experience.
An example of masking for me is eye contact or lack thereof. My natural way of interacting with people is to not look them in the eye as I find it threatening. However, that isn’t the way many neurotypicals interact with each other. They interpret those who avoid eye contact as less trustworthy or deceitful. So, I must mask and constantly remember to make eye contact when in public to survive. This way, I avoid castigation, being shunned, or other potential harm from neurotypicals.
Another example of masking is when I perform small talk. I loathe it as I find it banal and pointless. However, I need to do it in…
