Jun 14, 2021
Did You Bring Your Trust-o-Meter to the Meeting?
Because when we don’t measure the results, we always end up with — I should have never trusted them in the first place.
Everything in life is scripted. So that makes us the actors. But in life, we don’t pretend. We focus on the ‘act’ in the word actor.
So, all we can do then is to trust our intentions. We know in our guts that what we are set to do is with the right purpose. Because whatever may be the consequences, if the meaning behind the action was correct, we check all the right boxes of the mighty ‘karma’.
Trust Score — 1–1
It’s strange. Sometimes even our well-intentioned actions result in the worst possible conclusions. Do we then become insensitive to our emotions and belittle ourselves or attempt to look at the bigger picture.
It’s like relieving ourselves from toxic people. We don’t identify them early on because we move ahead in life, treating everyone equally. Until your action brought about a reaction that made you question your belief system, that’s when your inner self gave you that ‘smoke without fire’ warning.
As we grow, the size of the ‘friend circle’ becomes smaller. The people we assume will stay with us for a lifetime was just a false promise. When they leave, it hurts, and the vacuum without them is ginormous. But in the grand scheme of things, everything makes sense.
Sometimes it gets lonely. We feel that letting go of people that once upon a time meant the world to us was the biggest mistake ever. But when I look back at my past friendships, the ones that never made it to my today are memories. Although some great ones, they are now lessons. The biggest lesson being that trust is a negotiation between two people. Instead of giving yours entirely at the first meeting, wait for several sessions and then analyse the minutes of those meetings. Has the negotiating been fair, or were you the one who was at their beck and call whenever needed?
I Scratch Your Back, You Scratch Mine
Crazy, I know to negotiate friendships. But it’s not about the feeling. It’s more about the amount of trust we put forth. I have burned my hands several times to know that we act based on the situations in front of us. Based on my belief system, I give in and trust. But I don’t analyse how much of it I have received. So when the other person behaves like they usually do, it hits me like a storm, and the dust on the mirror is cleaned, showing me their true self.
Sometimes the giving mode blindsides us. We don’t step back and see what the person is trying to show us all this while. That’s when we are setting ourselves up for disaster. Therefore, even though we are just the actors in the script of life and we have no control over who we meet, we need to act and observe.
Why?
Because based on our observations, life will put us in another situation. Based on our actions, life will introduce us to a new set of people. If we don’t shed the ones who harmed us before, life will keep presenting us the same sort until we learn our lessons carefully.
As we are just the actors, life is unfolding the script’s scenes if we are focused on the present. The question then is, are you observing and weighing the scale of trust by focusing on the now, or are you thinking of what plans can I make with this person next week? Because if we focus on the now and see what the person is showing us, we can have alternate plans over the weekend that will be spent on self-learning and meeting people who genuinely deserve our time and, most importantly — our unwavering and selfless nectar called ‘trust’.
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