Living Out Loud
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Living Out Loud

Don’t Let These 5 Toxic Statements Question Your Self-worth

It’s just not worth it.

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

“When you meet a lot of people and you date somebody, or you’re just in a relationship with friends, lovers, business, or whatever it may be, there are people that are just toxic to you, and you don’t even know it yourself”.

— Amber Liu

Why do we purchase a product? Does it help meet a need? Does it provide peace of mind or maybe both? The bottom line is that it offers some value that elevates our state of living. That’s why we invest in it.

We, too, possess immense value and are worthy of investment. We, too, build ourselves by imbibing good values and skills. We work hard to achieve our desired goals. So then we should be as valuable as any product.

But here is the difference. A product doesn’t get to hear from anyone else that they aren’t worth it. We do. We hear one negative opinion or read one negative comment and conclude that we are only worth what other people think of us. It seems like it would have been better if we were products. Because then it would hurt less as products don’t care a damn about their reviews. They only do as they are told and function as they are designed.

Products don’t form relationships. Yes, agreed. We do. We form countless relationships. Some help us grow, while some suffocate, stripping us all our confidence. We keep running back to toxic people and relationships because they make us feel valued (temporarily). But if you’re not treated right, you know that you’re responsible for the pain you’re in. And some statements form an illusion in your mind that blinds you to see your true self.

1. You’re Nothing Without Me

Sounds familiar? It’s as if some people think they own you. Like you exist because of them. Yes, it wasn’t your mom that pushed you out; they did. At least when they say this, it feels that way.

Who decides what you are? Who gets to put a price tag on you? No one. You determine your worth. Period.

2. I Am Nothing Without You — So Please Don’t Leave

Run. That’s the word that should help you walk out that very moment. This is not making you feel necessary. This is a statement that is designed to take undue advantage of your kindness. You don’t owe your precious time to someone who is not willing to improve themselves. And one profound life lesson that I learnt is that if someone isn’t ready to work hard on themselves, no one can be of any help. The change has to come from within.

3. I Am Sorry — When Said for a Repetitive Mistake

If you’ve stubbed your toe, you know how painful that is. But what’s worse is when you stub that same toe again at a different place. It hurts even more. The only difference is the location.

It’s the same feeling when someone hurts you for something they have done repeatedly despite your thousand pleas to stop. The person you love is hurting, but you’re hurting too. Unless you walk out of it and that person doesn’t realise your worth, nothing changes.

4. But This Feels So Good

We don’t want to let go because something makes us feel good. This euphoria of pleasure is the most dangerous thing ever that blocks you from becoming the better you. Just because we feel good with that person doesn’t stop the long-term damage it’s causing you. If continued too long, the mental and physical breakdown costs you your self-confidence. It’s just not worth it.

5. I Have Changed

Good for you, pal. I am happy for you. But show that change to someone else because this ship has sailed.

Yes, the person must’ve changed, and the choice is yours to accept or reject. But if you do buy it, do not settle for less than you deserve. Hold your ground and demand the respect you deserve. This changed person doesn’t know the hell you have been through. If they have indeed changed, it’s time to walk the talk. Or else that door is always open for you to walk away for good.

Relationships are complicated. But we can make it easy if we firmly stand by the standards we set for ourselves. Every relationship is a lesson. We learn what we are okay with and what we are not. But when we get to a place where we are confident about ourselves, we must not allow a new person entering into our lives to take us for a ride. We have been through enough pain, and now we deserve to be treated right.

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Sujona Chatterjee

Sujona Chatterjee

Living life the only way I know how — one day at a time.