Healing Is More Like A Rollercoaster Ride Than A Journey
Have compassion with yourself
Six months ago, I embarked on a journey that I never bought a ticket for. At first, I thought it was grief over a break-up. A couple of months later, I came to realise that it was healing from an abusive relationship, and another couple of months after that, I realised that I was healing from a lifetime of abusive relationships as well as a childhood with a narcissistic parent. I knew about the different stages of grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance), but I had no idea what it looked like going through them when you are healing from abuse.
When my ex told me that he wanted to break up, I was in denial. We still saw each other while he decided if he would give me another chance. It was almost like nothing had changed, except that he was less affectionate and didn’t tell me that he loved me anymore.
I tried not to get my hopes up, but secretly I was confident: Who wouldn’t give their soulmate and love of their life another chance to work things out? After a few weeks, he told me he had chosen someone else and I went straight into anger. Clearly, he had lied to me about his feelings. I was glad that I had moved to the next stage so quickly, surely it meant it wouldn’t take me long to get over him…. Fast forward 6 months and I…
