Living Out Loud
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Living Out Loud

I Have No ‘Writing’ Goals — Does That Make Me Worthless?

What if my writing plane has no destination?

Photo by Ashim D’Silva on Unsplash

“In life there are times you must only walk without any particular direction to find your random fate!”
― Mehmet Murat ildan

When I was little, I had my entire life planned (in my head, of course). Except for what I wanted to make my career in, I had my life events scheduled in my little brain.

But then we all know what happens to plans — most of them turn out to be nothing like our intended vision.

Growing up one after the other, my plans failed; I just decided to make to-do lists. Crossing all the items was never the goal, just having a direction meant everything.

With time I just went with whatever opportunity came my way. I studied for my management exams, then completed my postgraduate degree and took up a job that suited my needs. Matching the best package criteria or getting the best job in the world was never my ‘GOAL’.

An In-depth Look Within

People would often wonder if I, the extrovert (depending on the place and time), would let my talents go to waste so quickly. But little did they know about the emotional battle that I was fighting, and at that time, all I chose to focus on was my sanity.

As time went by, I focused on understanding myself over the world. I wanted to tap into my creative side (the hidden writer in me) but not make it big. I wrote to heal, and that’s what made me truly happy.

But as my words took flight and created an impact in the heart of my readers, the ‘goal’ word started to haunt me. ‘What do you plan to do with this? You must do something because your words mean a lot to me? Why are you not doing something with it? The list of questions never stops.

When my heart felt heavy, I turned to words. Again, they were my safe zone. All I did was listen to what my loved ones had to say, and I knew they had my best interests at heart. But for me, writing was all about venting, and in the process, if it could touch someone or ignite the path of healing, that was my biggest accomplishment.

The Direction Unknown

But as my writing plane landed on different runways, I noticed how not knowing where the next flight would be or where I must focus is starting to become a problem.

But the question is, why must we know everything?

Why can’t my writing plane make a pitstop and just rest? Why can’t my plane fuel up, get some TLC (tender loving care) and then, when it feels like taking off, make a public announcement that the flight is ready for take-off? Why is an idle plane termed directionless if it doesn’t have a set destination?

I don’t know where my words will lead me. All I know for now is that it heals me. It keeps my creative juices alive and calms me when I feel like everything is against me.

But maybe, just maybe, through my turmoil of emotions, I will find what is meant for me. Finally, perhaps one day, I will see a schedule where my writing plane is supposed to land. Maybe I will look back to this post one day and think that, therefore, they say that the journey is more important than the destination.

Because through the journey, we find the answers. We never think of the end. We instead focus on the now and let the universe drop subtle hints, which we will pick up when the timing is right. But for now, my plane is at rest. Drinking in fuel, getting all the love and care it deserves, and when it’s ready to take flight, you will know.

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