Living Out Loud
Published in

Living Out Loud

Is It Foolish That I Am a Die Hard Romantic?

Maybe I have a soft corner for romances, but that doesn’t make me weak.

Photo by Laura Ockel on Unsplash

“A tramp, a gentleman, a poet, a dreamer, a lonely fellow, always hopeful of romance and adventure.”

— Charlie Chaplin

Hearts, flowers, and over-the-top gestures. Not that I am into them. Okay, maybe flowers and, to be precise, orchids.

Yes, I am a die-hard romantic, and I am not ashamed to admit it. But maybe I feel that it’s time I only keep this fact to myself.

Why?

Because I realised that the more people I say this to, the conversation goes south, leaving a bad taste in the mouth. I don’t know; maybe I love to be in my fantasies. But that doesn’t mean I don’t know what real love is all about.

Real Love Is Hard — I Know

From being in an emotionally abusive relationship and then in one where I was given false hope, I know that love is nowhere near my fantasies, yet I still believe in happy endings.

Is it wishful thinking? Maybe, but I like to believe that good in this world exists. Those who wear their heart on their sleeve and know how to give it back when people take advantage of their excellent heart exist.

Some call it an escape. In idle moments when I need a break from the real world, I do turn to stories. It gives me hope that this too shall pass. It gives me a safe space to be.

But often, when conversations lead to how I still am a die-hard romantic, people are just waiting to burst my bubble and shower me with experiences of hate, betrayal, and infidelity.

Relationships are no easy feat. Those who have been through toxic relationships like me know all about the suffocation and the over-the-top possessiveness. And yet, I choose to believe that people are good, and it’s just the situations that have toughened them.

Even though we live in a toxic world, I know that people do change. They do realise one day or another where they went wrong and how they must recognise their mistakes to become better humans.

Pain — My Greatest Teacher of All

Through all the pain of heartache, I discovered what I genuinely like. Through the pain, I realised what I am, and I figured out what genuinely pleases me. My experiences with reality just filled my fantasy world with more hope as through pain, I grew as a person.

So, despite what love has become in today’s dating apps these days, I still believe in old-school romance. Where relationships did not require instant validation, and we needed to work together to strengthen any relationship.

When I admitted that I am a die-hard romantic in all of my interactions, I realised that it requires immense strength to wear your heart on your sleeve. It takes courage to be vulnerable and feel with all intensity.

People wear a protective shield to mask them from pain. But for me, I face it head-on, get hurt multiple times, heal, go through the process and realise that this is me.

Giving my all or nothing in relationships and expressing how I feel through my romantic ways.

If that showcases me as soft and stupid, so be it.

Life is way too hard to be practical all the time. So in my fantasies, I instill hope in myself that what I visualise will manifest someday. And isn’t that what manifestation is all about? We envision the things that we never think are possible. But through our toil and effort and unwavering faith, it does come true in time.

Similarly, my visualisation of being expressive and honest about my emotions will never cease. Maybe it’s just how I am wired. If I give much more in that process, love way too hard, and believe in unreal love according to this practical day and age, so be it.

Because even though the world would want to toughen me up, I will learn my lessons and believe that good exists, and continue to enjoy romance and spine-tingling conversations through prolonged eye contact.

Gosh, the eyes, it’s always the eyes.

Dear reader, inclusion in the Medium Partner Program is currently not eligible for Indian writers. If you enjoyed reading this article, please consider buying me a cup of ‘coffee’ here.

Thanks so much for your time!

--

--

--

Real Love. Real People. Real Stories. Exploring what it means to live and love with passion and purpose.

Recommended from Medium

Friendship: The Missing Ingredient in “Friends with Benefits”

The Making of a Snoop

Telepathic Communcations

How to keep your emotions in check?

The Problems With Looking For ‘The One’

Happiness Hack: Don’t Model Your Adult Friendships After Sitcoms

Call me by name

How to manage the flow of demands on your Facebook offer

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Sujona Chatterjee

Sujona Chatterjee

Living life the only way I know how — one day at a time.

More from Medium

How Can I Move On When You Are Everywhere?

It Always Has to be Complicated

The Song That Helped Me Heal