When the Rock Slipped
When someone who has always been a rock, my Mr. Reliable, Solver of All Problems, and everyone’s favourite troubleshooter, became helpless and dependent, the world, as I know it, seemed to be collapsing around me. My husband, who never stooped, never asked for help, had always been independent, was looking at me, sheer terror in his eyes
On the 3rd September, he had a fall, trying to navigate a mossy patch on the wet road, after a rainy night. He fell, hitting the back of his head, on the side of the pavement. He was winded, but got up, and we went home. He was alright, till Friday, the 13th of October. On that day, he couldn’t judge the height of the steps, the floor, the road. On 14th, he couldn’t stand: when he tried to, he was falling forward, backward, or sideways. His right shoulder began slipping below the level of the left one. When he could walk, he couldn’t stop himself from running forward, and falling. He couldn’t get his leg to move from inside the car, to the ground: and I had to help him out of the car.
I was petrified. We went for an MRI scan. It was bad. Very bad. So bad that our family doctor freaked out and asked that he be admitted into hospital.
Immediately.
It was 9.30 pm.
Family friends Mrs Ramdas and her husband accompanied us to the multispecialty Nanavati hospital: our family doctor had already contacted Dr Oak, and informed him that he was sending a patient along. The MRI report said that my husband had developed a massive blood clot on both sides of his head, between the skull and brain. Because of the presence of these two good people, I was able to run around paying the deposit for the admission, being with my husband when he was shifted to the ICU, paying for the operation. They left at 1 am. Then I was alone, my husband in the ICU, staring into blackness, trying to think: trying not to think, waiting for the hours to pass, hoping that the hours wouldn’t pass…
My sons were far away, in Australia, gutted because they couldn’t be there with us. My mother-in-law, old and infirm sat at home, called up her friends and wept.
He was operated on Sunday,15th October. I had to sign papers: a lot of them. Several doctors told me, he might loose a lot of blood, he might go into shock, he might get problems with the blood transfusion, we might have to hook him on to the ventilator, so we need you to sign this.
And this.
And this.
And this.
They were kind and compassionate, these doctors and nurses, and that is the impression I shall always take back with me.
I was on autopilot.
I stayed with him, zombie like, not taking the smile off my face, because I didn’t want him to know how terrified I was, though my mind was screaming in agony, till he was wheeled into the OT. Then I went downstairs, putting one leg in front of another. By then, my husband’s cousin and his wife, Kinshuk, my daughter in law’s brother, my angel in shining armour, and her husband, Shubhangi and Udai, my husband’s office colleagues, two neighbours, had all come down, with comfort and consolation. A colleague from college withdrew 20,000 Rs from the bank and reached the hospital by 7am, telling me, with simple generosity, “I though you might not have ready cash with you.” They stayed the whole day with me. I must have been very bad company. But they didn’t ask for conversation. They sat in silence with me. Their presence filled me with both hope and light. They persuaded me to come to the staff canteen, to eat, drink water, stay afloat…
My husband was wheeled into the post operative ward at 12.30.pm. He was lucid, cheerful, talking…and I had a second chance at life. They had drilled a hole on either side of his head, to ‘evacuate’ the blood clot, under local anaesthesia. There is a long line of neat, herringbone shaped stitches, on either side of his skull/head…
But what I take back from this terrifying experience is the kindness of strangers, the prayers of friends and family, students and colleagues, and genuine compassion of the professional staff of the hospital.
I can’t thank you all enough. Intangibly, with generosity, and compassion, you helped me when I needed it the most. I couldn’t have got by without you. Thank you.
May there always be people around you when you need them the most.
