Living Out Loud
Published in

Living Out Loud

Why Ed Sheeran’s Song ‘Bad Habits’ Reminds Me of the Toxic Side Effects of My Passionate Ex

My bad habits lead to you.

Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

Remember that spine-tingling kiss that you couldn’t get enough of or that passionate bedroom romance that lasted till sunrise that keeps you awake at night? But no matter how good those moments were, the relationship was an utter disaster.

Over the weekend, I came across Ed Sheeran’s recent release ‘Bad Habits’, and this is what struck me.

“Toxic relationships are the hardest to forget as they scored a 100/100 in the pleasure quotient.”

Don’t get me wrong; I am sure that the healthiest of relationships have passionate romance and unforgettable nights. But when someone doesn’t treat you right, however, makes you feel amazing in bed, the poor treatment somehow flies out the window.

It Feels So Good

Everything unhealthy tastes amazing. But it has devastating results for your health in the long term. However, because it tastes so good, we keep going back and to make us feel better, we excuse our bad eating habits in one day called the ‘cheat day’. This, thank god, is only for a day. But relationships build over time. It’s not a one-day affair, and to experience the sinful taste of love, you need to stick around for more than 24 hours.

Passion is something we look for in everything. Am I passionate about my work? Am I passionate about living life to the fullest? Passion is what creates that urge to be with each other all day long. Once the newness fades, the passion takes a backseat.

But when passion is used as an excuse to treat someone in the most miserable way possible, a human forgets to differentiate between the good and the bad and starts to develop worrying behaviour patterns such as:

  • Detachment from peers.
  • Shattered self-confidence
  • They prefer to be always alone.
  • Lack of motivation.

This is all because people refuse to walk away. The only reason, ‘It feels so good’.

The deal with toxic relationships is the ability to experience wild moments. You are taking risks, stepping out of your comfort zone and pushing yourself to the extreme to feel the euphoria of love. But how long can you be someone you’re not? If you refuse to comply with your partner’s request, emotional blackmail makes you feel like a victim of guilt. But that guilt is brushed aside as no one else makes you feel this way. As told, you keep going as told, comply with everything asked to do, and one day, when it gets too much, you break.

As intoxicating as it was to fall for your toxic ex, to find yourself back after you end it is equally devastating. Some have lifelong after effects. However if the lessons are learnt during the healing process, you realise what you indeed are.

Life is an experience. You grow with each occasion, and you must have no regrets. Every toxic relationship is a lesson. That lack of self-control that you have learned to deal with helps you put your foot down and say no. That disrespect you put yourself through now enables you to understand the standards you must set for yourself.

You learn that as intoxicating words can be, actions matter. Because at the end of the day, you can be the best orator in the world, but what people remember you by are your actions that helped someone heal.

Dear reader, inclusion to the Medium Partner Program is currently not eligible for Indian writers. If you enjoyed reading this article, please consider buying me a cup of ‘coffee’ here.

Thanks so much for your time!



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store