Henna Storch — Friends or Family?

Originally from Woodmere, New York, Bat Sherut Bodedah 2017–18

It was a typical Shabbat afternoon and I was sitting on the floor of Terem with 3 of my best friends. I was in excellent health, but my friend was waiting to be checked out. When the nurse came into the room, saw my friend on the table and looked over at the rest of us in confusion, she explained, “this is my family.”

I cannot remember anyone more accurately explaining my relationship with the friends I have made since getting off the plane in Israel a year ago and starting Sherut Leumi at OneFamily. Making aliyah was something I had wanted for a long time, and beginning my journey of making this country my home by giving back and doing service felt like the obvious choice.

But obvious does not always mean easy. I left behind my comfortable life in New York where I understood the language. And my family remains 6000 miles and a seven hour time difference away.

And so I faced a unique challenge that the Israeli girls I served alongside did not face. While we could bond over the grossness of our various apartments, on Thursday nights they got to go home and see their family, sleep in their own beds.

It is hard for me, and I miss my family. But I have also built an incredible support system here in Israel. Between grandparents, cousins, and family friends who want nothing more than to host you for shabbat, it is hard not to feel loved and cared for.

So how do I explain what it’s like, sitting at a Shabbat table, filled with delicious food, and surrounded by people who love you, but it isn’t my family, and it isn’t my moms cooking. Shabbat is the time the of the week where I can feel an overwhelming sense of belonging while also feeling so displaced.

So even more important to me than a place to stay, were my friends who were also lone bnot sherut. The friends who I met, whether from in my apartment for bnot sherut bodedot, or at events specifically for us, quickly became the most important part of my experience.

No matter how hard my day was, no matter what I had to deal with, I had a friend who would listen to me complain and say “same.” We’ve all been there. And if they couldn’t say that? Then they could yell and scream and get angry for me. They could tell me to stand up for myself, help me figure out how to stand up for yourself, and yell some more about how unfair the whole situation was.

And more than that, these were friends who stepped in where family couldn’t. Helping me anytime they could.

On the Friday of the Jerusalem Marathon, I knew I would be working late, and I knew getting to where I needed to for shabbat would be a challenge. And so a friend stepped in, helping me find plans that were nearby, and making sure I would be able to get there in time. And then she ran (ok walked) the 10k with me.

It was Erev Pesach when I realized that I needed to buy special fish food for Pesach, and I was nowhere near a pet supply store. But my friend was, and she saw how important it was to me, and she ran out to get it for me so that my fish would survive the week.

This is the kind of help that isn’t incredibly difficult but is incredibly thoughtful. A simple action on the part of a friend took so much stress off of my back. When friends did things like that for me, I was touched, but I wasn’t surprised. Because being alone means that we look out for one another.

When I look back on my experience, I see that they truly had my back every step of the way. From navigating doctors to just feeling a little less alone, the friends that I made since making aliyah have truly been there for me.

As a wise man once said “Maybe family is just the friends we made along the way.”