To the One Who Sits…

For the first time in my life, I can see the bottom of my heart.
I feel the depth, hollowed out like a secret place inside a cave.
Down there I see two seats, there’s only space for two seats.

I see myself sat, in the dark, the bottom of the heart is a very dark place. 
Who is supposed to sit here with me, I ask myself. I look around and summon, my mother, Mum? Mum?…my siblings, we are sitting too, they reply. My friends, “We don’t know how to get there” the lover, “I’m tired of looking”

Catastrophic waves of tears begin to flood the depths. Glad I learned to swim but those skills don’t apply here. 
Then I remember there’s someone I haven’t asked. My eyes close, my head bows as the tears threaten to choke me.

A shining light and the presence of someone near, who sits. I open my eyes and realize as the light begins to dry the tears, only One can sit here, only One can shine light into the dark, only One knows the way to the bottom of my heart.

Sometimes the tears come and threaten to flood but because the One who walked on water sits with me, I sit, joyful, grateful, never alone.

Psalm 69…

“Save me, O God!
For the waters have come up to my neck.
I sink in deep mire,
Where there is no standing;
I have come into deep waters,
Where the floods overflow me.
I am weary with my crying;
My throat is dry;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God.

Matt 28:20

I am with you always