You do not deserve love, it is a gift.
A better approach to life in 2017 and beyond
I enjoy 90s dance music a lot. Haddaway’s What is Love is one of my favorites. Aside dancing vigorously to the rhythm, I’ve asked myself the question seriously many times. We all want to know what love is.
The best definition of love I've found is in 1 Corinthians 13 (Bible)
Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, Love does not boast, Love is not proud. Love does not dishonour others, Love is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres
So what does it mean to deserve something;
From the Cambridge Dictionary
to have earned or to be given something because of the way you have behaved or the qualities you have:
Synonyms include — merit, earn, warrant, rate, justify, be worthy of, be entitled to, have a right to, have a claim on, be qualified for, be good enough for.
Now try to put the two together and see if we can truly demand love or earn it. Let’s even ask ourselves, do we want people to love us based on qualities and things we have that could change tomorrow?. Can we truly say we deserve love, if you think you do, why? from who?
The truth is, When we approach life with “I deserve” we set up ourselves for disappointments, bitterness and all manner of awful things.
The very life and body we have was given to us, what makes us think we ‘deserve’ another man’s body and life
Abundant Love first
It is Christmas season, how wonderful. The story of Christmas is essentially a love story
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life” John 3:16
There’s no expectation around what people need to be before Love was given or before love can be given. We must love people as we meet them, they shouldn’t have to earn or merit your love. This has been made possible because of God’s love, showing us what love is really about.
Gratitude over Entitlement
There are many things in life, we deserve, like a fair wage for services rendered, we have earned that. Justice when wronged, it’s right to demand it but love is not one of them. Even these things we deserve are not guaranteed but we must still live well in this world.
It is important that we approach life with gratitude and appreciation. Let’s not find it hard to say thank you. I remember I used to be baffled when people would say thank you to the bus drivers when I lived in Newcastle. I thought then, why must I say thank you, isn’t it their job? Over time you begin to realize that this approach helps to destroy our sense of entitlement to things, to people.
I learned this the hard way in the darkest season of my life which is one reason I’m writing about this. Let’s free ourselves from taking offense and bitterness by appreciating what others have to give, and giving away what we have.
Give Love, Don’t stop
Let’s focus on the thing we can do for others because we are already loved abundantly for eternity without deserving it. Let’s continuously give the gift of love this season and beyond.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Enjoy an abundance of love
