The Head, Heart and Hands of Being
Intergenerational Dreaming
We all dream of a better world. No matter whether we are old or young or in midlife, whether we perceive ourselves as rich or poor, lucky or unlucky, whatever our race, culture, geography or history, we all know deep down the truth of our interconnected nature.
We all know that true happiness comes from our connections with others, no matter how flawed these may sometimes appear through the distorted lens of our own or our family’s life story. Yet all too often it is in the coming together with others that we hit our most painful places. In our longing to honour the interconnected nature of life itself, in the essential knowing of the equal value of all things, we find ourselves in situations where we are called upon to communicate with others; to learn the purpose of diversity.
It is here that we face our personal challenges; those uncomfortable moments when someone else’s truth triggers a response of discomfort in us. It is here that we learn that no matter how keen a brain we may have, no matter how sharp an intellect, or discerning an eye we will not be able to truly understand another’s perspective or have ours heard if our heart is not fully engaged.
No one ever gave of themselves fully to a cause no matter how deserving, if their heart was not touched. No great leader ever affected any meaningful change without engaging their heart and no shift into a more positive future ever came about from ideas alone, no matter how altruistic.
Yesterday I participated in a social experiment. It was hosted by the Schumacher College at the Barrel House in Totnes and was called “Community Conversation with Radical Collage”. Although it was the Radical Collage that attracted me it soon became evident on the night that for many it was Community Conversation that had attracted them with collage passing them by completely or coming in at a very poor last place.
The whole event, though billed as participatory, soon showed up, as these things are wont to do, the challenge it is for people with our society’s background to really let go and allow collective creativity to flow.
It began with Head of College introducing the evening with inspiring tales of his own incomplete schooling; a rebel from an early age, a born new paradigm thinker. He went on to describe the world renowned ground breaking college’s values but then, sadly, from my perspective, going on to tell us that the Small is Beautiful College was to grow into two sites, one for thinking and the other for doing.
How wonderful, you might be thinking, what is wrong with that? Well, nothing as far as it goes, but for a college founded on the estate founded in principles of Love and Compassion in the 1920s by Dorothy and Leonard Elmhirst; Dartington, and one that indeed ensures ‘being’ is very much a part of the residential courses it is so famed for, this seemed a rather glaring oversight.
The evening went on in similar fashion; how could it be otherwise? As someone with a background in teaching and training, and years of community living and involvement in the Transition Movement, I have had plenty of experience in seeing the phenomena of however a gathering of people begins setting the tone. For an evening of collaborative creativity to start out with the head is sure to encounter challenges.
It seemed that those who had come for the community conversation were set upon just that and about local issues with the estate no less. I had chosen to sit at the table named “wings of imagination” and had hoped that the ensuing activity would call up on us to table hop so we could experience some of the others; “spark of curiousity” for one. I was soon joined by three elders of the community, two members of staff and a young man.
Our task was to spend ten minutes in conversation and to see where the talk led in order to spent 50 minutes cutting and pasting from the magazines provided to produce a colourful collage that symbolised the words on our title and the essence of our conversation.
What happened at the “wings of imagination” table was a prolonged conversation about the concerns the elders had about the direction the estate was perceived to be headed in. In particular the tenancy of the 400+acre farm that was coming up for renewal and a new tenant. This, it seems, is to be offered out to the highest bidder and out of reach of the many skilled and talented individuals and groups the local community has to offer.
For the elders, women who had been involved with the college back as far as the 50’s, the new corporate feel changes on the estate were quite against the principles which the college and estate were so well loved for. For the young man there was sadness that he and many other young local people with a longing to live and work on the land would have no chance of bidding for any of the land.
For the staff of the college and estate it was clear they believe they are doing their best. The sharing of ideas and concerns were full of barely veiled emotion; hopelessness, frustration, defensiveness, and pride, and though the conversation moved on in a mutual desire to find common ground the reality of the situation was clear; the perennial struggle between the hope of the young who carry with them the dream of the future, the memories of the elders of dreams realised and now threatened, and the responsibility of those in midlife in positions with the present day challenges to address and make decisions on.
In an atmosphere of intellect this struggle all too often remains just that, and the values held and presented by each generation not fully seen and recognised. It is only through simply being with one another that challenges become opportunities, and only through the heart that every viewpoint is not only heard but fully valued as part of the solution.
We have, it seems, in our times come to believe that our heads are in control and that only good sense and sound judgement can bring about change. I would challenge that belief system. I would like to suggest that it is only when our heads are not in control that we have a chance to bring about change. When we use our hearts to communicate we have a chance to hear the truth behind the words, the feelings behind the thoughts, the stories people are believing and are to a greater or lesser degree trapped by, and to respond to the essence of who they really are and what essential message they are bringing to the conversation, and not the words we so clumsily have to make do with to express our deepest longings for a fair and happy society.
In the end our collage was created … in the ten minutes remaining. For me it symbolises all the imagination in the world which is created from a collective knowing of all the wisdom that ever was and ever will be; the wisdom of our elders when they remind us not to throw the baby out with the bath water and to hold true to our values, the wisdom of the young that the dreams they bring are the hope of the future, and the wisdom of those in middle age who know they must be able to respond to all the factors that influence their every decision.
In essence the knowledge of the past, the present, and the future are forever present in any intergenerational gathering and, if honoured by a meeting of hearts before heads begin to plan, then we stand a chance to not only vision a better future together but to use our hands to work together to create it.
My sense is that in introducing playfulness in the form of the collages we were asked to create together this was in fact a move towards bringing the heart into the conversation. My experience of the reality of the how the activity was received in my group was that this intervention was coming a little late in the day. Misunderstandings and miscommunication were already present between the estate and the community and certain decisions had already been made.
When an organisation can truly be said to honour the way of the heart first, trusting that decisions based on this firm foundation will bring forth all the support needed to sustain it and its endeavours, then it will indeed be a creator of dreams, a paradigm shifter, and a role model for the future we all dream of.
