Hi! I Would Like You to Meet…You
We all have an idea in our heads of the person we are and the person we want to be. Our goal over the next month is to get you as close as possible to the person you want to be. However, before we can do that, I need you to introduce you to someone. Yourself.
That may sound odd, but hear me out. How we approach the world, engage with others, and think about our selves is all framed from our own perceptions. These perceptions are a result of a myriad of different things including our experiences and most especially our values and biases.
How values shape our actions
Values are your principles — what you judge to be important in life — giving our lives meaning and helping us persevere in the face of adversity. These in turn shape the mindsets and biases you have about the world. These, in turn, influence your thoughts and feelings which shape how you behave in a given situation. The combination of all of these things create the resulting situation. While we may not be consciously aware of our values and mindsets, they shape our perspectives and as a result, everything we do.
Identifying Your Values
If you haven’t spent time identifying your values, it can feel a bit overwhelming especially when you know how much values shape the actions you take. Fortunately, it doesn’t have to be that hard. I’ve created a Defining Your Personal Values Workbook to help you get started.
Step One: Identify Personal Characteristics
You’ve been here in the world long enough that you know what aspects of your character make you the proudest. These should be nouns and could be things like creativity, commitment, energy. Write down these characteristics on separate sticky notes.
Step Two: Select Values
Without overthinking it, pull up a values list and select the values that resonate with you personally, writing each value down on a separate sticky note. I recommend checking a few value lists to cover your bases.
Step Three: Create Groupings
From the values and personal characteristics you wrote down on separate sticky notes, create five separate groupings for the values you selected. Again, don’t overthink the groupings. This is entirely a personal exercise.
Step Four: Choose One Word to Represent the Group
Now look at each of your groups. Is there a common theme you see in the grouping you made? Identify one word from the group or identify a new word that represents everything within that grouping.
Step Five: Write Down Your Values
Congratulations! You’ve just created your values, but we aren’t done yet. Being of a critical mind, it is worth road testing these values against your life experiences to date.
Step Six: Ask Questions
Your values are personal and as a result, they are shaped by your experiences. Asking yourself the following questions can help validate if the values you identified are accurate or if you are missing anything. Your “why” answers should get you to one-word answers.
- What have been the best experiences in your life personally and professionally? Why?
- What are you most proud of? Why?
- Who are people you look up to? Why?
- What do you love? Why?
- What mottos, quotes, or mantras do you live by? Why?
- What things make you angry? Why?
Asking why after each of these questions helps drive down to the underlying elements that make up these experiences. For example, one of the things I am most proud of is completing a 30-day challenge I called Smashing Keys. I am most proud of it because I committed to following through writing each day, even when it was incredibly difficult.
But why ask what makes you angry? When you are angry it is often an indicator that someone has violated values that we hold. For example, I get extremely angry when someone says they will do something and then makes excuses. This again points to commitment and to dedication. It also points out to me why I get so frustrated with myself when I don’t follow through on tasks related to a goal I am trying to achieve. I have violated my own values.
Step Seven: Reconcile Your Values
In this last step, compare the words that you wrote down in response to the questions above. Are there any that are missing from the list? If so, are those values represented by the words you’ve chosen? If not, add the value to your list. Your ultimate goal should be to have a list that relatively short and easy to remember. With that in mind, I recommend having no more than 5–7 values. If you have more than seven, I recommend repeating steps three and four so you can get down to a shorter list.
What’s Next?
Tomorrow, we’ll continue on our journey diving further into getting to know yourself so that you can align your goals and actions to create the best version of yourself. I can’t wait to take this journey with you!
