Between Waking and Sleep
This is the ongoing journal of my personal awakening and that of the Love YOUniversity (TM) tribe with the help of The Love You Method (TM). Through up to date and un-edited realness, I hope to help you walk through your own awakening with more balance, love and ease in all core areas of life and business.
I don’t often remember my dreams. Usually when I wake the dream is a blur, a hint of a moment that quickly fades away. Every once in a while, (more and more lately) I move into a lucid dream state where I find myself in a reality that feels completely foreign to me. On one level I know it isn’t my own life, yet it feels so convincing that I can’t remember it’s not real in the moment…until I wake up.
This morning I woke to that feeling. My first thoughts went to relief, gratitude, that it was all a dream. And then the details of the dream started coming back to me.
In the dream I saw a version of myself who was told she may be seriously ill, even though she didn’t feel that way. I could feel everything she felt — the sadness, the fear, the confusion. And on waking I felt the parts of me that feel the same way she did. Even through I know the dream wasn’t literally true, there is emotional truth in it.
In waking up today I got a reminder from within. That there are parts of myself who feel sad, scared and alone sometimes. And that is ok. This morning I got a reminder to turn inward and be with those parts of myself that need some love and attention, and reassurance that they are not alone. That we are on this journey together.
Last night in my dreams
I visited an alternate version
of myself.
An alternate reality
of my life.
In the dream I saw myself,
alone and scared.
I was given a 50% chance
of being seriously ill.
I’m being told
I need to go to the hospital
every night
for treatments
that I felt wouldn’t help me.
I didn’t know where to turn.
Within the dream,
it all felt surreal.
Hazy.
My grasp on reality
slipped for a moment
as part of me started to wake
and wonder —
is this really me?
Is this really happening?
No — it’s just a dream.
Relief swept over me
in that state
between waking and sleep
just for a moment.
I drifted back into sleep,
and it seemed so real again.
The fear,
the loneliness,
the confusion.
Where do I turn?
How do I move forward?
The fear was paralyzing.
Then suddenly,
the dream was interrupted.
I woke in the middle,
leaving it unresolved.
I don’t know
how the story turned out.
As I lay in bed I wondered,
does she live on within me?
I feel her sadness,
her uncertainty.
Questioning the steps
I take forward.
Many of them lead to a place
where I feel better.
But every so often
I take a step expecting progress,
and I feel worse.
How did I get back here?
I know it’s not really a step backward.
Progress is always moving me forward
though it doesn’t always seem that way.
This morning I woke up
feeling a combination of
fear and relief.
It was just a dream.
It wasn’t real.
But the emotions were real.
I’ve known that same isolation,
the doubt.
The lack of direction.
I reach out to the version of her within me.
Taking her hands in mine,
I let her know it’s ok.
We are together in this journey.
This, sometimes convoluted,
journey where progress can feel
like taking a step backwards.
This is uncharted territory
and we will navigate it together.
No matter what happens
we will always be together.
Julia Coplan, an intuitive artist, uses dance, photography and writing to move through the extreme isolation of mental turmoil by connecting with her body, inner guidance and higher consciousness to remember that we are never truly alone. As a guide with Love YOUniversity ™, she guides healers, coaches and artists in becoming irresistible to love, money, purpose and joy through awakening. Connect with Julia at loveyoumethod@gmail.com to sign up for a complementary 30-minute solution session to help you get clear on your next steps in magnetizing yourself to next-level relationships, purpose, prosperity and joy all areas of life and business.
