Remembering My Why
This is the ongoing journal of my personal awakening. Through up to date and un-edited realness, I hope to help you walk through your own awakening with more balance, love and ease.
Good morning. I’m tired and in pain. I’m tired of being in pain, and waking up in pain, and taking something to be able to sleep. When will I feel better? When will I be able to do regular life activities and not hurt? When will I be able to dance and not hurt? What if it is always there? Then what will I do?
How do I find a way to keep going even when it hurts? I need a big reason to keep going. I need a big why because it’s hard to keep going in the face of pain. What is my why? My why is that it is me — when I don’t dance at all it doesn’t feel good. It feels stilted and stifled like I’m not really there anymore.
Dancing is how I create me in the moment, and dancing is how I move through my emotions. When I dance I feel bigger than my body. I feel like I take up all the space — I extend out from the center, never ending. There is no end of me. That’s how I connect to the oneness. It’s how I connect to the vastness of energy. Without that connection I would wither and die.
I want to find more places in life — more arenas in life where I feel that connection because I need more than ever. I want to feel that connection all the time. Not only when I’m dancing. In truth it is always there but I may not be conscious of it.
Julia Coplan, an intuitive artist, uses dance, photography and writing to get unstuck from mental chatter and allow creativity to flow through.
