An Escape from Reality
a sibling’s point of view
A few weeks ago I wrote a blog post about my perspective of growing up with a disability. Originally I wrote the post in the hope that it would, for lack of a better word, inspire others with a disability to come forward and share their story through a certain set of questions. Despite my initial intentions, Mandy Copenhaver was quick to point out that I overlooked a perspective: a sibling of a person with a disability. I have known Mandy for many years and when she asked if she could contribute, I was happy to oblige.
When I first met my new little brother at the hospital it wasn’t the usual way most people meet their new sibling. My brother was in the NICU hooked up to machines so I couldn’t hold him as I so eagerly wanted to. We were told that my brother had something called Spina Bifida. We had no idea what that meant or what was in store for us for the future, but we were about to find out.
Well, it turns out that my brother, David, was a pretty typical brother. Sure he walked with walker, then crunches and sometimes a wheelchair for long distances, but besides that our relationship was pretty normal. I dressed him up like my own personal doll as most sisters usually do and of course we fought just like all siblings do. However, some things started to change a bit when my brother was 7 and I was 12. I realized that he wasn’t so typical after all. That year, my brother qualified for the National Junior Disability Championships (NJDC) that would be held in Albuquerque, New Mexico that summer. I was so excited for him, but then my parents told me that instead of attending my ballet camp that I had been anticipating, I would be going with my family for a week to watch my brother compete. I must admit that I was not exactly excited. I thought that I would be watching a few kids push around a track and I would be bored and lonely. Boy was I wrong.
“As the week went on, I watched them compete and my brother and I met more and more athletes from all over the country.”
As we attended the first day of competition, I was absolutely blown away! I was surrounded by athletes who were funny, nice, and talented and welcomed me in with open arms. As the week went on, I watched them compete and my brother and I met more and more athletes from all over the country. When we were at NJDC, no one was the “kid in a wheelchair” or the “sister of the kid in the wheelchair”. It was like one big family where no one was judged or felt different because their mode of transportation was a little different than others. It was like an escape from reality you might say. I felt like I could truly be myself around everyone at NJDC. We had so much in common and laughed nonstop. It was such an awesome feeling to be surrounded by people who understood and just got “it”.
As the years went on, I began to anxiously await NJDC so I could see my friends, spend time with my family and watch the incredible athletes compete! The athletes and I began to keep in touch and still do to this day. I never thought that going to the NJDC would not only change my brother’s life, but my life as well. I wouldn’t trade those memories for the world.
Mandy Copenhaver (Grassi) lives in Cincinnati, OH with her husband, Sean. She is a Registered Dietitian for a school district. She enjoys spending time with family and friends, exercising and traveling to her hometown of St. Louis to cheer on the St. Louis Cardinals. Her little brother, David Grassi, has spina bifida and recently graduated from the University of Illinois Champaign-Urbana. He is currently training and hoping to represent the U.S at the 2016 Paralympic Games. Mandy couldn’t be more proud of him.
