Learn About Autism from an Autistic: Autism and Christmas
Christmas is a fun time of the year for most kids and it’s no different for autistic kids. There are certain parts of Christmas that can be stressful for autistic people and there are things you as a parent can do to ease that stress. Let’s analyze some of these situations and what to do in them.
Believing longer
Autistic children on average believe in the magic of Christmas longer than other children and can get very upset when siblings or other children who have already learned try to tell them things such as Santa isn’t real. Fortunately, autistic children are also persistent and tend to not believe others when they say this. Parents have different ways of handling this and it can be questionable how it should be handled. For most parents, they want their child to believe as long as they can. One of the best things to do is to talk with other siblings and make sure they know that even though they don’t believe anymore there are others, even older kids, who still believe and they should respect that. This really only works within the home though and there is a chance your child will run into this problem at school with a child who hasn’t been told this. At this point the child will likely come home saying something about the other kids saying Santa isn’t real and that is where it’s up to the parent to decide what to tell. Depending on their age, it might be best to go ahead and tell them. This will save them from some bullying and eliminate the problem. Most children will be accepting of the news, though they might also question how they ever believed the more they think about it. Some children will display anger or be upset that they were lied to by their parents and this can cause trust issues. I have never seen this upset last more than a day and it is well worth the upset you are saving them from.
After learning, some autistic children will still talk about how Santa is bringing them stuff and act as if they still believe. They aren’t relapsing nor have they forgotten they were told. This can be just playing or can be used as a way to get more attention because it was something that worked to get them attention when they were younger. This might sound alarming at first, but I have never seen any harm in it as long as the child obviously playing. There’s no need to get mad or tell them to stop. Being silly is part of being a kid whether autistic or not.
Wanting the Same Gift
Autistic people like repetition. This might also mean that your child will ask for the same thing every year. For me, it was a Tiger Games Power Rangers game. I had left it outside overnight and it got ruined by dew. I asked for it every year until I was 11, when I was told “Maybe Santa can’t get it anymore because they don’t make it anymore.” I was honestly never disappointed that I didn’t get that because I got so much other new stuff I wouldn’t even think about it again until it was time to make a list the next year. It can also be a child asking for a toy they already have but want a new one just because it’s tradition to get one. This really comes down to parental preference. If it is rather inexpensive, you might want to just get it and make it a tradition. If you don’t want to or can’t get it, just make sure they have something else they really wanted so that they don’t even think about it.
Large Families
Christmas is also a time when family comes together more than any other time of the year other than maybe Thanksgiving. This can mean a child who is used to 5 or less people being around suddenly having to handle the social anxiety that comes with sometimes up to 100 people. I personally know a family that has about 60 people over every holiday. This can lead to some unrest as the child will have trouble with sensory processing. The child might want to stay in their room almost the whole time and also might not feel comfortable eating around others. My grandfather, who was in his 60s to 70s and likely had autism, wasn’t comfortable eating around others and would stay outside on the porch while all the other family members gathered in the house. Honestly, if it was good enough to let him do it I see no problem letting a child do it. Let them warm up to family if and when they can. Introduce them to family members at smaller gatherings so they will have some members they are comfortable hanging around when the bigger gatherings happen and it won’t be such a hard time for them.
Appreciation
Autistic children might not show that they enjoyed their presents. They might not say “thank you” when they open gifts. They might wake up in the morning and want to go about their normal routine rather than immediately open presents. This is all fine. Let them handle this one odd day of the year the way that keeps them most comfortable. Don’t ruin the day wanting them to automatically do what is traditional for you.
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