Unfiltered

How I Keep Consistent, Even Though Most Days I Feel Like Giving Up

It comes down to understanding the reality of pain

Photo by Steve Johnson on Unsplash

After a strong bout of self-doubt, a difficult long-Covid relapse and a family death, giving up felt more fitting than ever.

Like a hot chocolate on a cold day — marshmallows and all — it was an alluring thought.

Staring out the window, looking at a ginger cat drinking from a puddle, I sighed. I guess this is what the part that sucks feels like.

With that thought, it was as if a weight had lifted off my shoulders.

A few seconds later, I began writing the outline for the next article.

I barely gave it any thought.

Yet I know years — or even months — ago, I’d have stopped and loaded up a game, started a Netflix series or idly watched YouTube all day.

So what’s changed?

The negative emotions never go away

I feel exactly the same as I did months ago, when I first got stuck into a routine and habitual writing:

• nervous,
• unsure,
• doubtful,
• a little hopeful,