India demands Rafael Nadal in exchange for Hydroxychloroquine supplies to Spain
In exchange for the generous supplies of the anti-COVID-19 drug Hydroxychloroquine to Spain, he Indian government has demanded none less than tennis legend Rafael Nadal. Confirming the Indian government’s demand, EAM S Jaishankar told The UnReal Times’ Spanish correspondent Juan Des Pacito that Spain owes India big time as it is.
“For a long time, we’ve been giving Spain so much and have only been insulted in return. Sample this — during the UPA rule, our film industry literally gave Spain its best tourism movie, called ‘Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara’ — which showcased their country much better than any of their filmmakers could even dream of. And what did we get in return? A new flavor of Lays called Spanish Tomato Tango, which tastes so bad that you begin to feel that the Red Lays packet is better off full of air instead of three-fourths,” Jaishankar exclaimed.
“We could’ve easily retained Rafa when he visited us during the Chennai Open, but thanks to the absolute lack of any vision by the previous government, all we did was have Kris Srikkanth teach him a cricketing lesson, and a wrong one at that!” Jaishankar added. “Anyway, this government is different. This is Narendra Modi’s government and we will not rest until we’re given Nadal.”
According to EAM sources, the government initially requested Bollywood’s patriot-in-chief Akshay Kumar to persuade Rafa to come to India on his own, but went back on their plan, fearing chances of Rafa emigrating to Canada instead. Sources added that they have now requested recent Indian citizen Adnan Sami to sing praises of the country, to the tennis legend. Controversial Tamil poet Vairamuthu is reported to have begun penning verses on Nadal already. “Andru Andal, indru Nadal” the poet is said to have smiled. India’s own Tennis legend, Leander Paes is said to be looking forward to partnering with Nadal, to play the next Davis cup doubles matches.
UP Chief Minister Yogi Adityanath has already showered praise on India’s demand, promising government accommodation for Nadal in Gorakhpur. “Rafa bhai is the God of the saffron court and there’s no better state apart from mine he will feel at home in,” the mahant smiled. Yogi’s offer, however, has been rivalled by the Kerala government, which has offered him a bungalow at their Kannur bastion. “Rafachan is one of the world’s most famous leftists. And which place can be a more natural fit for him, than ours?” challenged Kerala CM Pinarayi Vijayan.
Meanwhile, the Congress party has slammed India’s demand, calling it shameful. “Our chor chowkidar is not satisfied with one corrupt Rafael deal, he’s now trying to broker another one! Will Anil Ambani be giving Nadal a free Jio connection?” squealed Thailand..err..Congress vice-president Rahul Gandhi.
