Potpourri: Top L😂Ldown headlines this week

Ashwin S Kumar
Lockdown 2 LOLdown!
3 min readApr 22, 2020

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Source: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Google_Plus_icon_(2015).svg

Google offers Google Plus as isolation centre, says no chance of anyone visiting there

Contributing its share of aid to the ongoing Covid-19, global search engine giant Google has offered its Google+ spaces as isolation facilities. “Given that people are looking for isolation spaces all over the world, we’d be happy to offer our Google+ spaces for use — isolation is 100% guaranteed! There was never anyone there and there will never be anyone there,” said CEO Sundar Pichai.

Source: Vistara_VT-TTF_at_Bengaluru,_2016–02–20.jpg

Vistara cancels flights to and from Kerala over Nipah virus concerns

After announcing a ban on self-styled comedian Kunal Kamra, three months after other airlines did so, Vistara airlines has now announced suspension of all its operations to and from the state of Kerala, owing to concerns over the spread of the Nipah Virus. Vistara’s move has been hailed by actor / director Farhan Akhtar. When asked about what the Nipah virus was, Akhtar shot back, “It must be something scary. Otherwise, why would Vistara cancel their flights?”

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Justice Katju calls Coronavirus a British agent after Kanika Kapoor fiasco

After Mahatma Gandhi and Rabindranath Tagore, former Press Council of India chairman Markandey Katju has now trained his guns on the Corona virus, calling it a British agent. “It has always been the British’s policy to divide and rule. With people like Kanika Kapoor coming in from London and testing positive, more and more people are getting divided and isolated in their homes. This virus is doing exactly what the British wanted — therefore, I have no doubt in my mind that it is a British agent.” the former supreme court judge stated.

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Vodafone users rejoice, say even coronavirus caller tune does not complete fully

With everyone across the country getting increasingly irritated by the Corona virus caller tune that plays for nearly a minute while making phone calls, Vodafone users have a reason to cheer. According to customers of the telecom provider, the signal strength assures that the call gets dropped even before the caller tune can complete. “Well, we don’t get to make the phone call, but we’re at least getting cut off without having to listen to the entire coronavirus caller tune,” exclaimed Pug-azhendhi, a pug-nacious Vodafone loyalist.

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Ashwin S Kumar
Lockdown 2 LOLdown!

Former humour contributor @asianetnewstv — @MyNation & @theunrealtimes ; Novice Musician ( @JHarrisjayaraj bhakt)+mimic; Views personal+varying; RT!=endorse