What's on our minds: Celebrity giveaways, rising unemployment rates, and possible outlook after the lockdown. Also, we can't find a movie to watch this Easter

Iyke: Hello Vay.

Vay: Hey you! What's up?

Iyke: So, I woke up today, went to Twitter, and saw a post made by one person like that oh.

Vay: Spill

Iyke: Can you imagine? Their landlord brought bags of rice and other provisions for them oh. Free of charge. Iyke: That's how I stayed on the bed and kept wondering why my landlord has not even called to know if I am alive.

Vay: Hahahahahaha! The goodies will reflect in rent.

Iyke: Two months to rent expiration, the man will be calling you bumper to bumper: 'My rent'. Shey this one that did giveaway, he has 3 heads. Mtchew!

Vay: You are even thinking of your landlord. I'm thinking of my neighbours. None of them has even bothered to check on me. Everybody is forming big man in their flat.

Iyke: Everyone in your compound is Oga na. Talk to me, I splash you with water with my new car.

Vay: Then one had the guts to call me and told me that shey I remember that today is Good Friday. 'So?' I asked. The old woman replied that I shouldn't be playing loud music. And here I thought she was deaf all this while.

Iyke: Ehn? It's today? Mogbe!

Vay: Seriously, you forgot?

Iyke: I did oh. Everyday seems the same these days.The woman is not deaf. It's called selective hearing.

Vay: But do we really have to act so sober on Good Friday?

Iyke: I’m the wrong person to ask that. Hahahahha!

Vay: I know. I just thought you might have changed.

Iyke: That's why I am surprised ni. Me, sober?

Vay: Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sacrifice my saviour did. He is the reason why I'm alive today. Shouldn't that call for celebration?

Iyke: Well, I guess it's the theme the church adopted to mark his sufferings. Yes, there was redemption,but they rather focus on the process.

Vay: I remember as a Catholic back then that we are not allowed to eat meat today.

Iyke: I'm still Catholic, and I just finished one wrap of suya.

Vay: We know your type.

Iyke: Hahahahhaa!

Vay: I missed those Station of the Cross plays. I always look forward to it.

Iyke: It's annoying sha. Low budget Jesus.

Vay: Bad bele. There was one brother who used to teach us in Sunday school that always played Jesus. I always look forward to seeing him at the plays and what baffled my young mind was how he survived the flogging and nailing on the cross.

Iyke: You liked him?😂

Vay: I don't hate people😜

Iyke: You can't keep this tea to yourself.

Vay: Too much tea is not good for your health.

Iyke: Yes it's good oh.

Vay: So, I went searching for Easter films on Netflix but couldn't find much.

Iyke: It's Jesus of Nazareth film na. I can't even remember any Easter film that isn't based on Jesus directly. Oh, wait...The Easter bunny. I have seen films on that or those that highlight it. But they aren't so memorable like those of Christmas. I think.

Vay: Yeah, but they are not as copious as Christmas films.

Iyke: Exactly! With all these COVID-19 wahala, are you sure studios have not placed a hold on it? It won't make much.

Vay: I don't know but I think they should consider making more films for Easter. In fact, of all the celebrations, Easter should be widely celebrated.

Iyke: Can I play the devil's advocate?

Vay: You are already one.

Iyke: Ha!

Vay: Hahaha!

Iyke: Growing up, was there such a thing as Easter clothes?

Vay: You are silly. Hahahaha. Well, I used to wear either my Christmas or New Year's clothes for Easter services.

Iyke: Even the rice and stew is not as tight as that of Christmas.

Vay: This one is always on point in my house.

Iyke: It doesn't feel the same.

Vay: Not in my house oh. Jesus died and rose, so we groove.

Iyke: Nah. There is no exchange of gifts. Jesus died for crying out loud. That's what they always say. More like Sunday rice wey go Harvard.

Vay: Lol! Ha, you just reminded me. What will I cook this Easter? I don't even have turkey for this Easter.It's not as if someone is visiting me but we can still have a feast right?

Iyke: You are on your own. Rice don dey hungry me. See what you have caused.

Vay: No be me cause am. Just say e don dey hungry you since.

Iyke: And I am watching my weight.

Vay: Please watch your height too. Oh, heard some states are relaxing the lockdown rules this Easter weekend.

Iyke: They might regret it. They are almost flattening the curve.

Vay: Some celebrities are already voicing their opinions about it. The price would be very costly. I'm sure celebrities will be giving away gifts to their fans on Twitter.

Iyke: All the ones I entered my details...ZERO
I don't have luck in all those things. But wait oh. You sure say them no dey do wayo for that thing. One will say they are sharing 10 million
 Where my own? Even if na 5k.

Vay: Hahahaha!

Iyke: After they wee be wooing us to go and watch a video on YouTube.

Vay: Some na wash.

Iyke: I don tire to follow.

Vay: It's just a way to trend.

Iyke: And they will say it's only for their followers, too.Take style dey increase number of followers, trend join inside. Mtchew. I go soon start my own giveaway. Make I see whether them go follow me.

Vay: Some reeks of low self-esteem. Others genuinely give.

Iyke: Where them dey? Show me the way ni.

Vay: But the ones that annoy me are those that will ask you to type something before they give. Like I stumbled on one by Owillz. Have no idea who he is. The guy tweeted that people should type 'pick me' if they want to get his freebies.

Iyke: Hahahhahaha. Wetin person no go see inside lockdown.

Vay: If you look at their acts closely, they are in a way promoting the culture of begging.

Iyke: Ehn, but we need the money sha. Luck fit shine.

Vay: That's corporate begging bro. You don't need the money, you are just greedy. That's how you will be reading comments on a celebrity post and next thing you will see someone begging or for food or money.

Iyke: Leave that thing. People wey dey lobby and all politicians,all na beggars.

Vay: So all of us na beggars then.

Iyke: No let my account balance vex for you oh. See rough play!

Vay: The real begging will start after the pandemic. Na push up we dey do now.

Iyke: Jesu. My chest!

Vay: The number of unemployed people in the US is shattering. I just wonder how the pandemic will affect businesses here. For sure, many companies will lay off their employees. Those who applied for jobs, waiting to be called for an appointment may never get that call.

Iyke: They had jobs before na. And the government is giving them hand-outs.

Vay: But the economy is shut down. So how will they work? The employers are sending them home because nothing is happening.

Iyke: Iyke: They can file for unemployment and get on the government relief fund till it all resolves.To be frank, our government has already done worse things. We can't blame our high employment rates on Covid-19.

Vay: Of course we can't but there will be more unemployment cases. Many will be tight fisted after this pandemic.

Iyke: While some are making more millions at the same time.

Vay: I wonder if the entertainment industry will ever be the same. Musicians will likely feel the heat more.

Iyke: I think so too. They are literally self-funded.

Vay: All these 'table for 10 for 1 million' fit no work again.

Iyke: E fit oh. Ego for this country no dey reason that one.

Vay: I doubt it. Companies may not be too generous to throw their weight behind concerts. Na person wey get sweet mouth pass fit chop. It will be foolish to spend extravagantly.

Iyke: No. I disagree. That's the fastest way for them to make money and gain free promotion. For each time brands sponsor an event, they are literally gaining free publicity in return. Presence is king.

Vay: What are you saying? Do you know how much companies have lost due to this lockdown?

Iyke: No lies. I understand. But after the pandemic, it will turn to a race to be seen and heard.

Vay: But they are paying for the publicity. It's not free.

Iyke: I didn't say otherwise. Imagine sponsoring someone like 2Baba.The returns in terms of fan loyalty cannot be gained from an ordinary TV commercial.

Vay: How many people want to see 2Baba sing today in a concert?

Iyke: You are one of them. No lie.

Vay: Yes I would love to because I belong to the generation that celebrated his music when he started but not the Gen Z, which by the way are more enthused to go to concerts nowadays. Okay let's do a simple test. You like to go to concerts right?

Iyke: Yes. Sure.

Vay: And you see sponsored ads right?

Iyke: At times, it feels like it's all about the brand with all those top executives coming on stage to talk.

Vay: Answer my question directly. Yes or no?

Iyke: Yes. But you want to put me in a tight spot. I know you.
Vay: 🤣🤣🤣 See me see wahala. How many times have you been moved to patronise those brands because of the ads?The first thing that will probably cross your mind is that 'ah the organisers don blow, see all the companies that supported it'.

Iyke: If I want to, and I have a range of choices, I will pick them. I believe they are more reputable. Compare ads at the Superbowl and the revenue it brings in sales afterwards. It's all about the emotions.

Vay: My friend we are in Nigeria. America is far developed. Stop comparing them to us. We no reach and you know you don't have any emotions concerning the brands.

Iyke: So, in other words, adverts don't work in Nigeria? Cowbell! Our milk! I feel attacked oh. I need help.

Vay: I'm not saying it doesn't. My point is after the pandemic, things may not be as easy and swift as before.

Iyke: Yes, it will take time to adjust. That's true.

Vay: Many things will be recalibrated and concert tickets is one of them. No give me headache abeg. I don go sleep. And happy Easter in advance.

Iyke: Hahahaha! Come na. Are we fighting?
 
Vay: You and who? Biko shift. Byeeeee.

Iyke: Oh, and remember to pray for the hundreds that were buried in New York today. May their soul find peace.

Vay: May their soul rest in peace.

Iyke: Bye!

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