logbookbymaho
Published in

logbookbymaho

Stumbling in the chat

In the very casual conversation, I just get stumbling when people talk about something on the assumption that everyone is heterosexual, when I face the expression on the male homosocial desire, and when I hear the words came from the idea of racially homogeneous society. These are happening in the community around Japanese people.

It is my personal opinion, but I feel that Japan is 10 or 20 years behind the UK in human rights. Here are the phrases which I have never heard in Japan; ‘do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?’, ‘do you have a partner?’ ‘I like your jacket’. Or the question ‘is there anything you can’t eat?’ is also common, but many people never imagine any religious reasons, vegetarian or vegan.

Otherwise this is so popular language; ‘hey have you got a boyfriend? No? Why? Let’s think why you are not popular with boys, but I suppose your outfit is not preferred by guys. What kind of persons do you like? Well, you may not realise that there is someone who is good for you. Tell me how many classmates you have… ok, we can talk about it more while eating Yakiniku (a kind of barbecue, beef of course)’. If I answer ‘yes’ for the first question, it is also annoying because people start to talk about marrying, so I would answer ‘no’ to avoid bothered conversation.

Don’t you think that this is going back in time? In fact, I am still eating beef, pork and chicken, but I know that the products of real meat, especially beef brings environmental harm. However, Yakiniku, beef barbecue has been the most popular dish for Japanese young generation. Many of people like to talk about the relationship, but they might not consider if their friends have different sexual orientations with them. To make matters worse, if someone says like this, people doubt the person may be homosexual. Why is it thoughts that thinking gender is just for LGBTQ+? No, they are just affected and it is heterosexual people that cause the problem of their life, majority party just disturbs minority’s life.

In general, there are so lots of people who are unaware of the privilege of majority. This unawareness is possible to apply any disparities in the world, but especially in Japan, many of people are insensitivity to discrimination. Even Asian hates happens in the U.S. or the Europe in the covid storm, they think that it doesn’t matter to them, because they are exception of Asian, a kind of ‘honorary whites’. This is the evidence of that they are not minority but majority.

When I talk to my friends about some gender bias in people’s mind, friends of mine said like ‘but recently men also wants us to keep on working after marriage for our budget, so the amount of male who force the gender role to female should be decreasing,’ I have heard that kind of words for several times. I hope that their partners will never impose on my friends for children care.

The most hardest thing is; how I could tell my thoughts to my friends. There is no space to think about the gender bias, how could I cut in their assumption? I don’t want to be a bystander, too hard to overlook the microaggression, but in real life, I have not succeeded so well to point out their stereotyped thoughts. To be honest, I am scary to lose friends, however, if I don’t indicate it, otherwise I might start hating them. I am just sitting on the fence, this is the most disgusting thing ever.

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Maho Harada

Maho Harada

PhD student @ Royal Academy of Music, London. Seeking the way of violinists to be free from the gender stereotype.