Singapore: Staycation in the city

Six months into the pandemic has left us vacation starved. We were as sick of our tiny ass condo as the English were of the European Union. We wanted to launch our own Brexit, and so we trundled through parks and museums like vikings on a rampage, searching for that elusive experience that will feed and nourish our shrivelling souls.

As seasoned travellers, we’ve never taken the idea of a ‘staycation’ seriously. Paying for a hotel that is barely 15 minutes from our our own home to immerse ourselves in surroundings that we’re familiar with?

Nah, we’ll pass.

With no end to the pandemic in sight however, it was easy to cave in and say “Ok, maybe I’ll give this a shot but to be honest, I’m more excited about kicking back at home with the Beverly Hills Housewives on TV.”

We eventually decided to spend a weekend in Fullerton Hotel, because I love heritage hotels and I wasn’t mentally prepared to stay by a beach that is as Dirty as a greasy, sweaty Christina Aguilera in her music video (of the same name). It turned out to be a pretty interesting experience.

Here’s what I like and didn’t like about our mini vacation during a pandemic.

CONS: Advanced bookings need to be made for everything — and I mean EVERYTHING.

We received a booking form from the hotel a week prior to our stay.

“What’s this?” I ask the husband, feeling seriously perplexed.

“You have to book your time slots,” he said. “For swimming, for the gym, for breakfast, for….”

“But I don’t know what I want to do a week from now,” I interjected. “This is a vacation, not an army camp.”

Unfortunately, COVID-19 is a beast that needs to tamed via social distancing. The time slots are implemented to control capacity and prevent overcrowding in public areas so we grudgingly — but dutifully — did our part. Well, on the day we were supposed to swim, it began to rain.

Heavily.

Thank goodness we took our chances and showed up at the pool the day before. There were few people and we were let in with a smile.

This is what you should keep in mind: while you’re expected to stick to your pre-booked time slot, you’re still allowed some spontaneity……on a slow day.

CONS: Buffet breakfasts are a thing of the past…well, not technically.

First off, you cannot even waltz in whenever you like anymore. And when you do waltz in, don’t expect an artfully arranged display of fruits and cold cuts. These will be — along with your drinks — delivered to your assigned table to protect food and surfaces from contamination.

There is also a limited (yes, limited) menu featuring hot dishes that will be cooked in the kitchen upon request. Variety may be lacking, but the quality was tops.

We thought the laksa was so good we asked for seconds….and thirds. Instead of looking at us as if we were the biggest pigs she’s ever met, the waitress delivered us as much food as we wanted — without batting an eyelid.

We’d probably have to be carted out on a stretcher if guests needn’t have to stick to their pre-selected schedules and leave by a certain time to make way for other patrons. Army camp!

CONS: It’s not very planet friendly.

Like it or not, housekeeping has to work twice as hard when you’re on a short holiday, amounting to more energy consumption and waste. Take all the plastic bottles, all the soiled towels and bedsheets you use on vacation….and double it.

One of the ways to reduce your carbon footprint is to stay longer at an environmentally responsible hotel. The Fullerton, for instance, provides guests with mineral water that comes in these bougie cardboard boxes rather than plastic.

Still, I can’t shake off this minor guilt that a sea turtle somewhere might be dead because of me.

PROS: You will be treated like royalty.

We had the uniformed staff’s full attention the moment we stepped into the lobby. Check-in was relatively painless: we were shown to a waiting area and asked if we needed help with our one duffel bag with barely anything in it.

Our kids were bribed with all manner of freebies — from a pass that entitled them to unlimited ice cream during the duration of our stay and some bear plushies.

The staff seem to genuinely care the children but not in a creepy way. Maybe they were just glad to return to service after months of forced idleness, maybe it’s the Fullerton way or maybe it’s a bit of both….but it is awesome to treated like you’re Will and Kate when you’re really just a twerp who’s hankering for a holiday.

PROS: Hygiene and safety practices are top-notch.

You ever know what it is like to live with someone with OCD? Well, you will now!

All high-touch surfaces are cleaned and disinfected, again and again, religiously. There are envelopes for your mask in the room and even masks upon request should you need any. But the best part? No more entering into your bedroom and discovering mysterious lipstick stains or stray pubic hair on your bedsheets, baby!

PROS: Hotels are ramping up their offerings of specially curated experiences.

It’s great to lie around the pool doing nothing, but we were as thirsty for new experiences as Courtney Love was for coke in rehab.

As part of the F1 weekend in September, the Fullerton has organized special sidecar ride cookie decorating sessions, model car races and a cocktail making masterclass for their guests, and we went a little crazy participating in….everything.

Apparently, they’re not the only hotel doing so.

The Quincy Hotel is offering chocolate truffle making classes and art jamming sessions for couples under their Qool Weekend Package. The Raffles Hotel is offering a Reflections of Raffles package, which includes the Raffles Heritage Evening Experience and a specially curated trishaw ride for two to celebrate their 133rd birthday. Meanwhile, Capella Resort is offering a range of complimentary activities, from Build Your Own Boba class (where participants learn to make their own milk tea) to a culinary workshop for children to rum appreciation.

You’ll be wishing you were lying around the pool doing nothing at the end of it all.

PROS: A break from routine.

Time and again, research has found that frequent mini breaks are better stress busters than longer ones.

Even if it was only for 24 hours, our time out has forced the husband to shut down his computer and allowed us to throw a bubble disco in the bathroom with our children again. The biggest decision we had to make that day was which restaurant to try out, and the biggest dilemma we had was getting lost amongst the ancient relics of the Asian Civilizations Museum.

I was not as miserable as I’d expected to be.

I didn’t even yell once.

The researchers were right: it went so well that the husband has suggested we do this once every month. And while I’m still dreaming of the time when I can return to the French Riviera, I’m not about to turn his offer down.