What it’s like to be an over thinker

“Get over it, lighten up, chill out… you’re over thinking things.”

Don’t worry, overthinking is as much a burden to me as it is to you to listen to it, especially if you’re a friend, or my boss. Especially my boss.

Over thinkers worry a lot. They have trouble making decisions and going with the flow. Their imaginations are constantly on the go, which means they look for hidden meanings in things that genuinely have none.

Over thinking is exhausting! And sometimes completely paralysing.

But what’s the alternative?

Asking me to chill out is a bit like asking a French person to be less French. It’s not really an option.

So, since we’re stuck with is, let’s look at the good and bad:

The benefits:

Attention to detail — over thinkers notice and remember more than most people, from the detail of a room, to something someone’s said. That’s why I’ll remember your birthday and ask about your latest doctor’s appointment.

Ability to plan — who’s got the tickets, who’s booked the taxi, who’s thought of the worst-case-scenario if things don’t go according to plan? The over thinker.

Active imagination — being able to imagine how things could be makes you want to strive for that, however unrealistic that might be. And sometimes it works out.

The disadvantages:

Disappointment — over thinkers read too much into straightforward situations — sometimes events and people really are that simple. This can sometimes be a let down.

Exhaustion — It’s time consuming, imagining every possible scenario when only one is needed. Our brains seem to think that going over things will lead to more clarity — it doesn’t.

It blunts real feelings — intuition can easily be talked round by over thinking the potential pitfalls and drawbacks — not great for spontaneity or saying yes.

A note to friends of over thinkers

We’re not pessimistic, afraid or paranoid, we’re just thinking a lot. It helps so much if you bring us back down to earth with realism and clarity.

Sorry if this seems like hard work, but admit it, you like us because of it — at least we got you to that gig on time :)

A note to bosses of over thinkers

You need to harness the benefits an over thinker brings to the workplace — as long-term thinkers they won’t just come up with amazing ideas, those ideas will be fully formed and ready to go because they will have thought about how they might be executed.

They will also see the project through to the end because they have huge mental stamina.

Don’t overthink the over thinker. And don’t rush her — let her think about it.

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