Are Long-Distance Relationships Possible?

Couples Coaching Online
Long-Distance Relationship
9 min readJun 8, 2021
Are Long-Distance Relationships Possible?

You might be thinking about having a long-distance relationship and wonder if they are at all possible.

Long-distance relationships are possible with a little bit of insight and understanding, and they can also be fun and exciting. If you are in a long-distance relationship, you can keep in touch with your partner and maintain the emotional connection. If you are single, online dating makes it possible for you to meet new people and find someone special.

At the same time, long-distance relationships are possibly one of the most misunderstood concepts in the world of relationships. As a result, people have a lot of fear and anxiety when it comes to having a long-distance relationship.

In this article, we’ll talk about starting, having, and making a long-distance relationship work. In the end, you should have a good idea of what long-distance relationships are all about.

What Is Considered a Long-Distance Relationship?

A relationship is considered long-distance when people live apart for some time. When we say a long-distance relationship, we talk about a romantic relationship. Although you can have a long-distance relationship with a friend or a family member.

But, why are some couples scared of long-distance relationships?

Couples could be scared of a long-distance relationship because romantic relationships need physical closeness. Physical intimacy is a huge part of a romantic relationship.

In a normal relationship, where partners live together, they see each other every day. It allows them to talk face to face, hug, kiss, and have as much sex as they want. With a long-distance relationship, partners see each other once or every few months, so physical intimacy is either infrequent or absent.

This, of course, creates a certain level of dissatisfaction, sexual frustration and emotional turmoil. When partners are away from each other, physical closeness is a luxury for special occasions.

So, while long-distance relationships can be great for a short while, long-term, they can become unhealthy.

Why Long-Distance Relationships Are Possible?

The Internet and cheap travel make long-distance relationships possible. You can easily keep in touch with old friends and make new ones. Via online means, you can stay in touch with your family. You can also find a romantic partner even if they live across the world.

With free phone and video calling, you can keep in touch with your partner as much as you want. Some people need to talk every day, for others once every few days is enough.

Problems begin when partners text each other all the time. Spending all this time texting pulls you away from your physical reality, and the world around you. It can take over your real relationships with friends and family, as well as your hobbies, studies, and work.

Neglecting your physical reality is never a good idea. You will naturally do everything possible to make your long-distance relationship work. But if your long-distance relationship doesn’t work out, you will also have to face an emptiness of the world around you, that you’ve neglected.

If this happens, it can take a toll on your psychological wellbeing as well as physical health. It can be a rough journey to get out of it.

So, while long-distance relationships are possible, you should be mindful of some potential problems that can ruin your relationship.

Is It Possible to Start a Long-Distance Relationship?

Dating apps and websites make it possible to start a long-distance relationship online. Like never before, it’s so easy to start a long-distance relationship with anyone across the world. The biggest challenge at the beginning of your search is to filter through hundreds of potential candidates.

With some dating apps and websites, it’s possible to filter people by their physical parameters, education, financial status, and many other things. But things aren’t always as they are on the paper, so be careful not to filter away someone special.

Once you’ve set your eyes on a particular individual, it’s time for you to get to know them. Patience, understanding, and effective communication will help you a great deal.

Is It Possible to Have a Long-Distance Relationship?

Having a long-distance relationship with an existing partner is different from starting one with someone you met online.

If you are already in a relationship, you know the other person. The focus in this situation is on maintaining emotional connection and scheduling regular visits.

When you are starting a long-distance relationship with someone you’ve never met, your priority is to get to know basic things. Learn about their history, where they came from, what do they like, their preferences, values, and beliefs.

One thing for sure is that the long-distance shouldn’t last too long. Whatever your situation, any romantic long-distance relationship, needs to have a plan for visits and an end date when you will move in together.

If it’s too long in an existing relationship, you risk growing apart. If it’s too long in a starting relationship, you’ll create an ideal image of the person, which may not match the reality.

Is It Possible to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work?

While it is possible to make your relationship work long-distance, you need to know two things:

  1. The reason why you are in a long-distance relationship.
  2. How long it will last.

The factors to make a long-distance relationship work include the distance, the travel time, and the opportunity to travel like spare time and money.

The distance between you and your partner isn’t as much of a problem as having the time and money to cover that distance. Once you can answer these two questions, you can make a plan of how often you visit each other and what you do in between and during your visits.

Long-distance relationships are possible for some people and not for others. For example, if you are the person who needs physical intimacy to feel connected, then you will struggle with a long-distance relationship. On the other hand, it might be enough to talk to your partner on the phone to catch up at the end of the day.

It gets tricky when one partner needs physical contact more than others. So, if you are starting a long-distance relationship, make sure that both of you are ok with being apart. It helps to talk about your physical needs and plan for the visits.

How Can You Make Your Relationship Work Long-Distance?

Making your relationship work is possible, but it’s not easy. You need patience, understanding, and willingness to hear your partner’s feelings. Learning effective communication can help you express your feelings and preferences. So, you can make sure your partner understands your point of view.

Making a plan and having a timeline is essential to make it work. In a long-distance relationship, there’s a lot of uncertainty and couples have many doubts. A plan gives you a point of reference to see if you are on track. Having this reassurance can go a long way when you are feeling alone one on one with conflicting emotions and doubts.

While technology isn’t a restriction, you should agree ahead on the means and the frequency of the communication. Every person has their preferences on how they prefer to keep in touch and how often.

A lot of couples skip that conversation, which leads to many problems of talking too much or too little.

Is It Possible for a Long-Distance Relationship to last a Long-Time?

A lot of couples see a long-distance relationship as an exercise in stamina. They seem to believe that the longer they can make it last, the greater the reward. But, the truth is that while they are suffering from being alone, they also push away any possibility of being with someone.

What kind of relationship is it, if instead of fun and joy, you have to suffer the distance trying to survive a long-distance relationship?

If two people love each other, they find a way to be together. And if a romantic long-distance relationship lasts a long time then maybe something somewhere isn’t quite right.

While long-distance relationships are possible, they can be hard. Particularly if they last for a long time and you are unable to see each other for extended periods.

Some couples try to make a long-distance relationship last a long time. When you are away from your partner in some ways relationships can be easier. You have more freedom to do what you want, you can talk to your partner or you can have the time for yourself.

There are a few problems with making a long-distance relationship last a long time. You will have a relationship with an idea of a person that you’re creating your mind rather than with the actual person. If your long-distance relationship lasts long enough, you can even get used to it. This has a certain side effect called idealisation.

When you don’t see your partner for a long time, you start creating an image of what they are like. It’s easier to be with an ideal person that you create in your mind than deal with the actual person in day-to-day life. Another problem is you can start being jealous and insecure even if there’s no reason for it.

If you don’t see them, it’s harder to tell how they are and if their feelings changed. But at the back of your mind, these doubts are almost inevitable. The lack of physical intimacy can get too much and this can result in cheating or ending a relationship. So, you can’t have a real relationship with a person who isn’t really with you. That’s why long-distance relationships are not real relationships.

If you find yourself having a long-term long-distance relationship where you rarely see each other and you are okay with it, you may be trying to escape your reality.

Conclusion

In this article, we’ve seen that long-distance relationships are possible. You can start a long-distance relationship with someone new or you can keep in touch with your current partner. They can be great and can work very well for couples that have to be away from each other.

Long-distance relationships aren’t easy, but neither are they exceptionally hard. They are what they are, but people make them into what they want them to be.

Relationships can be complicated, and long-distance relationships are not an exception. Just as you can make a normal relationship work, you can also make it work long-distance. The key is to know why you are in a long-distance relationship and how long it will last. The good news is you can learn to handle it, and not only make it worth your while but have lots of fun in a process.

Long-distance relationships can work for some, but they may not be for everyone. To succeed with a long-distance relationship, you need willingness, means, and understanding. Get clear on your goals: personal achievements and relationship goals. Weigh all the pros and cons of a long-distance relationship.

How much do you want to start a long-distance relationship or keep your existing relationship going through long-distance? Do you have what it takes to make it work for some time until you can move in and start living together?

Are long-distance relationships possible? — Yes

Do long-distance relationships work? — Sometimes

Are long-distance relationships for everyone? — No

The real question here is if a long-distance relationship is right for you?

How can COUPLES COACHING help you? — 4 Ways

  1. Subscribe to our Newsletter
    Receive Tips & Advice on how you can improve your relationship.
  2. Read our Blog
    Learn all there is to know about relationships and how to make them work. Here you can find an article for every aspect of your relationship.
  3. Buy a Workbook
    Check out our selection and choose the most relevant workbook for your relationship.
  4. If you have a burning issue…
    If you need a solution right now…
    If you are facing an important decision…
    If you are lost and unsure about your relationship…
    Book a Coaching Session

Frequently Asked Questions

Are long-distance relationships possible via online means?

With free phone and video calling, you can keep in touch with your partner as much as you want. Some people need to talk every day, for others once every few days is enough. Problems begin when partners constantly text each other.

Are long-distance relationships sustainable?

Some couples try to make a long-distance relationship last a long time. When you are away from your partner in some ways, relationships can be easier. You have more freedom to do what you want, you can talk to your partner, or you can have the time for yourself.

Why are some couples scared of long-distance relationships?

Couples could be scared of a long-distance relationship because romantic relationships need physical closeness. Physical intimacy is a huge part of a romantic relationship.

How Healthy is Your Long-Distance Relationship?

TAKE A QUIZ

--

--