Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship

Being in a long-distance relationship can cause uncertainty and many doubts. If left unchecked, it can put a strain in your relationship.

Doubts in a long-distance relationship are very normal. Doubts originate from uncertainty and insecurity about someone or something. Long-distance relationships are full of uncertainties. These uncertainties range from your feelings changing to practical things like when you will see your romantic partner next.

Having doubts in a long-distance relationship is common, but you need to understand why you or your partner are having them and learn how to deal with them

In this article, we’ll explore what doubts are, where they come from, the role they play in a long-distance relationship and how to deal with them.

What Is the Difference Between Having Questions and Having Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship?

If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you face many doubts. The best way to deal with them is to recognise them and talk about them with your long-distance partner, as we’ll see later on.

First, let’s understand what doubts are and what is the difference between doubts and questions.

Much like questions, doubts come from uncertainties. For example, in a long-distance relationship, you may be uncertain of how your feelings may change while you are away from your romantic partner.

Then, the certainty about your feelings, poses a set of questions, like whether or not you will be able to make a long-distance relationship work. When this question starts to bother you emotionally, you may start worrying that your long-distance relationship will not work out.

The uncertainty plus the worry about this uncertainty is what gives birth to doubts. To deal with doubt in a long-distance relationship, you should understand what uncertainties you are facing, and how do you feel about these uncertainties.

We’ll talk more about how you can deal with doubts in a long-distance relationship in just a moment. First, let’s see if it’s normal to have doubts.

Is It Normal to Have Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship?

To answer this question, we need to be clear on two things: what is normal and what are doubts?

Normal is conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. The premise is if everyone is going through the same thing, it makes it ok because there must be a solution. So, you might be feeling worried and need reassurance that it will work out.

Doubt is a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction. It’s easy enough to see that you may want certainty. The problem is that certainty is an illusion. Predictability gives us a feeling of safety and security. But we don’t know what will happen.

All we can do is raise our awareness of the situation before making a decision. We are in a constant state of balance between doubt and certainty. When we question our circumstances, it helps us make a more educated decision, but it stops us from acting. When we are sure about something, we act before we think.

In a long-distance relationship, if you are having doubts, it means you are unsure about something, so ask yourself what it is.

You are in control. Don’t get bogged down with other peoples’ experiences. Sure, it can be helpful to learn from other couples and the mistakes they made, but you are having your own unique experience.

What Are the Common Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship?

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you are away from your romantic partner. A romantic partner is someone you would expect to be with to experience physical intimacy. So it can be disconcerting when your romantic partner is far away from you.

Many couples in long-distance relationships don’t have a plan, nor do they have a timeline for how long their long-distance relationship would last and when and how they will reunite.

A long-distance relationship without a plan is like making a journey without a direction. If you enjoy the journey, you may not worry too much about the destination.

But, if you are struggling and having a hard time in your journey, then having a direction can give you the reassurance you need to keep going, and the direction is the correct one.

Having a plan of how long your long-distance relationship will last, how you will communicate, how you will visit each other, and how you will reunite will help you navigate your long-distance relationship.

Here are some common doubts you may face in a long-distance relationship:

• Does your long-distance partner love you?
• Can you trust your long-distance partner, and can they trust you?
• How are you feeling about your partner and about being in a long-distance relationship?
• When will you reunite and how your reunion your relationship will work when you live together?
• Will your feelings change when you live together?
• What if living together will ruin your relationship?

How to Deal with Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship?

To deal with doubts in a long-distance relationship, you need to understand what kind of uncertainties you’re facing and how you feel about them.

For example, you may be uncertain about how your long-distance partner feels about you. A healthy way to deal with this uncertainty is to ask your partner directly. To do this, you need to trust that your long-distance partner will tell you the truth about how they feel.

Now, let’s say you have this question on your mind. But, you don’t ask your partner about their feelings for some reason. Little by little, this question will become a doubt in your mind. You may start thinking about what if your partner doesn’t love you. Then your mind can start creating stories based on this negative assumption.

If you don’t express your doubts and concerns to your partner, they will grow in your mind and can become an issue. So the best way to deal with doubts, regardless of how long you’ve had them, is to share them with your partner and ask them for their opinion.

How to Get Through Doubts in a Long-Distance Relationship?

A healthy way to get through doubts in a long-distance relationship is to deal with them as soon as they arise.

Now, we know that doubts comes from uncertainty. So, the first step is to learn what kind of uncertainty you are facing in your long-distance relationship right now.

Once you learn what exactly you are unsure about, you can get clear on how you feel about it. Doubt is uncertainty that leaves you worried and confused. To deal with doubts in a long-distance relationship, you need to have clarity about the things that bother you.

As a rule of thumb, you should be able to express any doubt you have to your long-distance partner without reservations. If you don’t share things with your partner, they won’t be able to help you figure things out.

The only way you can work things out with your long-distance partner is if you have open and transparent communication. Open communication means that you can express your feelings to your partner freely, without fear of them judging you.

Effective communication also means that you can hear your partner out and understand their point of view. Your partner may see your long-distance relationship differently from you. This is normal.

To make a long-distance relationship work and for it to be healthy, both you and your long-distance partner must be willing to trust each other and to understand each other’s point of you.

Conclusion

Doubts are part of any long-distance relationship. People have doubts about many things most of the time.

Doubts come from certainty about yourself, your partner, or your long-distance relationship.

While having doubts and a long-distance relationship is common and normal, to have a healthy relationship, you should address your doubts by discussing them with your long-distance partner.

Need an LDR Coach?

1. Send me a message and describe your situation
2. I’ll get back to you with some thoughts & ideas
3. We’ll arrange a video call to discuss your relationship in more detail

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it normal to have doubts in a long-distance relationship?

Doubts are part of life. The lack of touch in a long-distance relationship makes it hard to know how your relationship is going. This uncertainty together with other negative feelings you may experience gives rise to doubts. The best thing you can do is address them straight away with your partner.